TMNT acting Bloopers
by Miraculous Pink Ninja
Summary: TMNT is AWESOME! I mean, really. But let's zoom out, oh, the turtles! They're... Memorizing lines? Full of laughter, and humor, and Mikey mistakes. I don't own anything.
1. Rise of the turtles 1

**Rise of the turtles part 1**

 **TMNT (c) Nikelodeon**

 **This is just a fan fiction, I never really got any permission here, although I thought that it would be funny.**

Jerry: Do you ever wonder what the turtles are up to behind he scenes? Well…I was able to access to the backstage of the set and watch the turtles in acting action.

Linda: Jerry, get over here! We're about to shoot!

Jerry: Coming, Linda! Let's start, shall we?

9

Direct: Good, your here. Turtles! Get ready.

The turtles run to their positions.

Direct: Hey, where's Splinter?!

Linda: He's in the bathroom, sir. He'll be back soon enough.

Direct: Alright. Take one! Ready, Set, Action!

The turtles stood in their position, preparing to spar. Leo held his katana behind his back. A few seconds later, they were ready. They both jumped up. Accidentally, Leo's katana slip out of his hand and Mikey tangled himself in his nunchucks.

*laughing*

Mikey: Hey, it isn't–ugh–funny!

Leo: Hahahaha! Well it is!

Raph: Uh… a little help here?

Raph's mask was being pinned onto the tree by Leo's katana, it was merely milimeters away from his head. Leo froze and gave a sheepish smile to the camera.

Leo: Uh, hehe, uh, take two?

9

Mikey: Aw, yeah! Michelangelo's on the move! *dodges more attacks* You don't know what to do!

Leo: *smirk*

Mikey: How can you stop what you can't even see?

Mikey lunged for Leo. Mikey was about to attack Leo wen Leo used the hilt or handle of his sword to hit Mikey in the stomach. Mikey tumbled and landed on his knee behind Leo.

Mikey: *hurl* *faint*

Leo: Ew!

Raph: Gross!

Donnie: Seriously?!

Direct: MIKEY!

Mikey: Sorry, Sir, ugh, won't happen *hurls* again.

In the background, the other turtles were having all sorts of disgusted looks.

9

Donnie expertly spun his bō staff in circles.

Casey: Show off.

Direct: *whispers* Jones, get out of the set or you're fired!

Casey: But–

Direct: Jones, you're not up until the next season. Get out of here!

Casey: Fine. *leaves* ... *comes back* But I still get to kiss April, right?

Direct: Out!

9

Raph stretched his neck side to side, cracking it.

Raph: Alright, Donnie, put down the staff, and you'll have extra pizza.

Donnie: *snorts* What?

*laughs*

Direct: Ugh! Cut.

9

Leo was down, Raph standing over him.

Splinter: Yummy!

Raph: Say what?

Leo: What did you say?

Jerry: What did he say?

Mikey and Donnie were laughing like it was the last day of their life. Soon, the others followed.

9

The turtles and their sensei were having algae and worms.

Jerry: Okay, just how did you get them to do that?

Direct: Mikey made it.

Mikey: *stirs pot of algae and worms* There's a little more algae and worms, if anybody wants it. Anybody? Anybody?

Leo: No thanks.

Raph: I'm good.

...

Direct: Woah, woah, woah, where's Donnie?

They all looked at Donnie's empty seat.

Donnie: *hurls*

Direct: Was that–

Donnie: I'm okay everyone! *hurls* J-just give me a moment.

9

Donnie: Wait! Look at that! *points at April*

April walks with Kirby down the side walk.

Donnie: She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

Raph: Isn't she the only girl you've ever seen?

Mikey: No. There's Linda…Irma…well, it's more like a he—

Direct: Cut!

9

At the first Kraang fight…April was reaching out to Donnie when Mikey hit him on the head using is nunchucks. One man ran to Donnie and kicked him in between the legs. Donnie held the area and fell on his knees.

Donnie:Why me?

9

Mikey: Dudes! T-That…uh, h-he, he, he, he...he...uh…

Donnie: Mikey…

Mikey: Yes, D?

Donnie: Did you memorize your script?

Mikey: Yeah, why?

Donnie: 'Cuz there's something on your arm. *points at the writing on Mikey's arm*

Mikey: *holds arm close to his chest* Uh…hehe. Take two?

9

Splinter: And so your inability to work together allowed them all to get away.

Raph: Well it I didn't waste time arguing with hero-boy, I would've saved them.

Leo: Hey, you hadn't gotten in my way, I could've done it. *turns to Donnie* And you, you went flying off on your own. How smart was that?

Donnie: That would have worked out great if somebody hadn't hit me in the head with his NUNCHUKS!

Mikey: Well—none of this would have happened if—mic hits Mikey in the head— ow!

Direct: Cut.

9

Leo: *raises hand* Can I be the leader?

Raph: Why should you be leader? I kicked your butt, I should be leader!

Donnie: Hey, I'm smarter than all you guys put together, it should be me!

Mikey:No way, it should be me!

...

Mikey: I don't really have a reason, I just think it would be me. Plus Ice Cream Kitty said so. *hugs Ice Cream Kitty*

Mutagen Man came into the scene.

Mutanagen Man: It…should…be…Donnie.

Direct: Mutagen Man!

Slash came in.

Slash: I think it should be Raphael.

...

Leo: Oh, so no one's gonna back me up? *crosses arms* Well that's just great.

Linda: Alright you guys, see y'all in the next season. *pushes extras out of the sene*


	2. Rise of the turtles 2

**Rise of the turtles part 2**

 **TMNT (c) Nikelodeon**

9

Jerry: Okay, guys day two of the shoot. *looks around* *whisper* Don't tell anyone, but see that guy over there? *points camera to human Snake* He's wearing a wig.

Linda: Hey, Jerry, c'mon aren't you gonna watch?

Jerry: Coming, Linda. Well, time to shoot.

9

Direct: Alright, turtles, the scene is you guys find the mutagen canister and you get snake as a witness for the strange men. Got that?

Raph: Sure, so long as I get to paid for this. Who would want to eat algae and worms?!

Direct: Ugh! Three, two, one, action!

9

Leo: Guys, this is huge! Whoever kidnapped these people are somehow connected to what happened to us 15 years ago.

Donnie: How is that possible?

Mikey: With alien robots, anything is possible.

Donnie: Stop that! There are no such things as alien robots!

A small groan is heard and the turtles saw a man climb out of a van.

Mikey: Oh yeah? *walks over to the man* Well if there's no such thing as alien robots, *grabs Guy's head* then how do you explain this?!

Mikey grabbed the guy's jaw and started pulling it. The man yelled as his jaw was trying to be ripped off.

Mikey: Ugh! Man, this mask is glued on tight!

Leo: Mikey, stop! That's not a... mask...

Direct: Cut! Leo, what's wrong?

Leo pointed to the man, whose hair came off and he was bald. The audience tried to stop laughing but then they burst into laughter when Raphael did.

9

Raph: *snatches canister from Donnie* Time to get some answers! Who are you, and what's goin' on?!

Snake: Name's Snake. And I got nothin' ta say ta you hideous freaks.

Raph tosses Snake to Donnie and Mikey and they held his arms. Raph removed the top of the canister.

Snake: *shutters* Wh-What're yah doin'?

Raph: Playing a little game I like to call, 'Mutation Roulette.' Now, you could turn out handsome, like me. Or–

Snake: Ya don't look handsome.

*laughter*

9

At the facility Snake had told the turtles about. They were all standing on the roof of a building opposite where the Kraang where. Mikey was guarding Snake. Leo was looking down at the facility with a telescope.

Leo: There's gotta be like…20 of them down there.

Donnie: Yeah and that's just the one's we can see.

Raph: Alright! *withdrews sais* An all you can beat buffet!

Mikey: All you can eat buffet? Where?!

Turtles: *moan*

9

Mikey and Donnie sprinted across the streets, running after snake. They were stopped at a dead end.

Donnie: Maybe he went over the wall.

Mikey: I'm all over it.

Donnie: *gives Mikey a boost* Alihoot!

Mikey jumps over the wall and you could hear him crashing into stuff. It went on for a while.

Jerry: *whisper* How long this supposed to go on?

Direct: *sigh* CUT!

The sounds of crashing kept going on.

Direct: What's going on?!

After a few minutes, the crashing sound stopped. You could hear Mikey moan form behind the wall.

Mikey: *moan* who forgot to put a cushion here?

Linda: Medic!

9

Mikey: Aww…are you talking to your pet turtle?

Raph: No. Shut up!

Mikey: That's adorable!

Raph: Oh, I'm gonna crush you!

Mikey ran away as Raph jumped over the table. Correction, tripped over the table.

Mikey: *laughs*

*laughs*

9

Splinter: Leonardo, I made you leader for a reason.

Leo: What is that reason?

Splinter: That is for you to discover on your own.

Mikey: Leo asked why, Sensei, why?!

Direct: Mikey!

9

The turtles were climbing up the Kraang facility wall. And…they fell.

Jerry: Don't you guys know how to climb?!

Donnie: There's no safety harness!

9

Donnie: Wow! I've never seen anything like this! They're using a metal alloy that… I don't even recognize!

Raph: Gosh! A metal alloy that even you don't know about! It boggles the mind!

Donnie: Dude, you wanna talk metallurgy with me? Bring it. Wait…is metallurgy even a word?

Leo: *Brings out script* I don't think so.

9

Mikey: *holds Kraang brain* See? See? It's a brain thing! I told you! I told you! But did any of you believe me? No! 'Cause you all think I'm just some kind of bonehead!

The Kraang that Mikey was holding began to hurl, due to being held upside down. Mikey drops it and he and the other turtles moan in disgust. Donnie covers his mouth and runs out of the set. And again, you could hear him hurling, too.

Linda: Medic!

9

Donnie: Turtle, actually. I'm Donatello.

April: April.

Donnie: Wow, that's a pretty–

Leo crashes into Donnie and they both crash into the ground.

Donnie: Medic!

9

Leo sliced off one of Snake's vines, purple blood started spraying and spurting everywhere.

Mikey: *scoots away* Ew! Eww! Don't let it touch me! Don't Let it touch me! Ahh! It touched me! *hurls*

Jerry: Is that supposed to happen?

Direct: Cut! No.

9

The helicopter with the family was starting to get into the air.

Leo: Donnie! Go!

Donnie kept his Bo staff. Donnie ran and jumped then Leo used his hands to help launch him into the air. Donnie flipped up and stumbled by the chopper pad.

Linda: Medic!

9

Donnie: April I promise you, we will not rest until we find him.

Raph: We won't?

Leo: *nudges Raph's shoulder* No, we won't.

Mikey: Aww, but I'm feeling so–

Direct: Cut!


	3. Turtle Temper

**Turtle Temper**

Jerry: *adjusts camera* And…there…we go– Alright, guys, time for season one episode two! Turtle Temper! So, this episode is all about Raphael and his reckless and impulsive temper.

Raph: WHO ARE YOU CALLING RECKLESS AND IMPULSIVE?! *pants*

Jerry: Uh…

Direct: Yo, Raph, Jerry, get ya lazy butts over here, time to shoot.

Raph: *points two fingers at his eyes, then at Jerry*

9

Direct: Action!

Mikey was being held by Raph because he was poking Raph's head while patrolling a lab that the Kraang are going to break into later.

Raph: Say it.

Mikey: *irritably rolls eyes* Raphael is all wise and powerful.

Raph released him, but grabbed Mikey again and twisted his head a bit

.

Raph: And…?

Mikey: And he's better than me in every possible way!

Donnie: *smirks* Even in throwing water balloons?

Mikey: Even in throwing water bal—Wait…no he's not!

Leo and Donnie were laughing their heads off and soon so was the audience.

Mikey: Not cool, dudes, not cool.

9

Vic: What the heck's goin'—Mother of root beer! No one told me that I was working with turtles!

Jerry: *whispers* You didn't tell him?

Direct: *whispers* He said that he wanted to get paid already.

9

Raph ran towards Vic.

Jerry: *whipsers* He's got them on video, right?

Direct: *whispers* He should.

Vic closed the door of the fire escape and Raph bumped into it but his head went trough the door. The battle stopped and everyone on the roof started laughing their heads off. Raph soon got the door out of its hinges but it was still attached to his neck.

Raph: Seriously? Why is this door made out of cardboard?

Jerry: Oh…how did that happen? *laughs nervously* Okay, that one's on me.

Mikey: Dude, I know exactly how you feel.

Direct: Cut.

9

Raph: You should've heard the insults this guy was throwing at us! They were so...Insulting!

Splinter: Oh! I did not realize he said mean things. Of course! You had no choice but to jaguartize your mission!

Donnie: I thought it was 'jeopardize'.

...

*laughs*

9

Donnie: Who needs his bottle? *fires arrow*

Mikey: And his diaper changed! *fires*

Leo: What's wrong, Raph? Gonna cry? *fires arrow*

Raph: I...Am...Not...Gonna cry-!

An hit him right between the eyes. Raph fell back and landed on his shell.

Mikey: Ahh... I wish this moment would last forever

Raph: You know what?! *stands up and throws sais at the ground* Forget this! This is stupid!

Jerry: Alright, I got the diapers, the baby bottle, and the pacifier.

...

Jerry: Did I forget something?

Raph: *faints*

*laughs*

9

He turtles were hiding on the roof of the guy's apartment, waiting for him to appear. After a few moments, Vic came out talking someone on the phone.

Vic: I swear in my mother's grave that these guys are frogs and they know Kung Fu! You can't tell me that's not worth somethin'!

Leo: Now!

They all jumped off the roof and landed in a circle. Correction…dog pile.

Direct: Cut!

*laughs*

9

Leo: So, what are you looking for?

Vic: Ah... Cool mil oughta cover it.

Leo: You just need cold milk?

Vic: NO! I SAID COOL MIL- A MILLION DOLLARS! YOU COULD BUY YOURSELF A BOX OF COLD MIL—

Direct: Cut! Vic, if you don't control your temper, your fired.

Vic: HEY, HE'S THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE FIRING! HE—

Direct: You wanna get paid or not?

9

Splinter: Spike, chew on your leaf if your in the mood for story time.

Spike did nothing.

Direct: Cut! Raphael, what's tha matter with your pet?

Raph: *goes closer to Spike* I don't know.

Suddenly, Spike fell down like a pice of cardboard.

Raph: Hey, this isn't Spike! *touches fake Spike* It's a card broad cut out!

Splinter: If that is not him, then where is Spike?

...

Mikey: Hey, Spike! Do you want some more leaves?

Raph: MIKEY!

9

Kraang 1: This is our fight with the beings known as 'the turtles.'

Kraang 2: The usefulness of this will be proven usefully with the more watching of this.

Kraang 3: Also, this is being a good image of Kraang.

Snake: You don't look good.

Direct: Cut!

Linda: Snake, get off the set.

Snake: 'Kay, fine! But that doesn't mean that the Kraang look good.

All: OUT!

Kraang 3: Kraang is the one known as offended.

9

As the mutagen spilled all over Vic, he yelled, it wasn't long until the tell turned into a roar, and it wasn't long after that when the battle stopped.

Kraang 2: Kraang, go look to the place where the thing that make the noise is, and tell us what thing makes that noise in that place.

Kraang 1: *manly, brave, angry, and not monotone voice* SERIOUSLY, WHO WROTE THIS *censored*?! *censored* you *censored* scrip writer!

Jerry: *jaw drops* That did not just happen.

Direct: It just did. Kraang 1, your fired!

Kraang 3:RAAAAAAAAAGAH!

...

HELP WANTED

9

Leo: Alright, guys! *holds up katana* Get ready to dish out the mighty wrath of Tiger Claw!

Donnie: Who's Tiger Claw? Leo, have you been reading in advance?

Leo: Maybe, maybe not.

*crickets*

9

Spider Bytes: Aww... Froggie thinks he can stop me. Ribbit, ribbit. What's that, tadpole? You too afraid to leap off your lily pad?

Raph's eye twitched and he charged at Spider Bytes.

Spider Bytes: Ah! Mercy! Give me quarter! I was just saying what I saw at the script! Show mercy!

Direct: Cut! Raphael, remember…

Raph: *moans* Like a river over a stone. *gets off Spider Bytes* But after this scene, I'm givin' ya a piece of me.

9

Spider Bytes was down on the ground, deafeated. His phone sat a few feet away from him. Raph marched over to the gadget and smashed it with his foot.

Spider Bytes: No! My phone!

Donnie: I kinda feel sorry for him. That was an iPhone 6 with its very own custom case.

Mikey: iPhone 6? Where? I want a phone!


	4. New Friend, Old Enemy

New friend, old enemy

Jerry: Good news, everyone! Third episode up!

Direct: Fourth, Jerry.

Jerry: Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, the spider is called New Friend, Old Enemy. New friend or freinds rather, are Xever Montes and Cris Bradford, the studio's newest recruits.

Xever: We're working with four freaks?

Cris: I'm happy we get to beat the sunshine out of 'em.

Jerry: *whispers* Spoiler alert. They'll be freaks in the future, too.

Direct: Aliright, everyone! Get ready!

Jerry: Gotta go, bye!

9

Mikey was reading a Cris Bradford magazine.

Mikey: Oh, I wish me and Chris Bradford were friends! *om! nom! nom!*

On the thrid bite, he bit a piece of paper and accidentally swallowed it. He dropped his magazine and started coughing, trying to get the piece of paper out of his mouth, he stood up and stared punching himself in the shot may, stil trying to get the paper. The others (Donnie, Raph, and April) started laughing.

Jerry: Should we help 'im?

Direct: *rolls eyes* Medic!

9

Raph: Too bad there's no place for freaks to meet people where no one can see how hideous they are.

Mikey: *stands up* Who're you calling hideous?!

Cut.

9

April: Donnie, can I see your laptop?

Donnie: S-sure! *gives April the laptop*

April: *accepts laptop* ... *eyes widen* What the? I-is this... Me? Time out! I don't recall this in the script.

Linda: Recall what, Ms. O'Neil?

April turned the laptop, showing a picture of her eating pizza. Donnie blushed.

Direct: Oh, that. You see, when you came in, Donnie had a crush on you, making him the perfect lover.

April: ...And what does my picture here have anything to do with it?

Direct: Nothing. That's just Donnie, not the script.

9

April: Check it out, it's a site where you can make friends, with anybody online.

Jerry: Yeah, there's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...or always I think it is.

9

Raph: Where are you going?

Mikey: To hang out with my friend, Chris Bradford

April: This guy's famous. He probably has thousands of 'friends.'

Mikey: And guess who's number one!

Donnie: I thought you were #5286.

Mikey: *pouts* Why can't I be #1?

Raph: Beacuse your a hideous freak.

...

Raph: What? Just saying.

9

Mikey: And then, Chris Bradford put on his hakama! Man, that guy can rock a hakama!

Raph: *groans* Yeah, maybe he'll wear it again when he takes you to prom.

Mikey: Dude, I'm a mutant turtle armed with ninja weapons, I can't go to the prom. Everyone there will freak out.

Raph: But earlier you said that you wanted to have human friends.

Mikey: No I didn't.

Raph: Yes you did.

Mikey: No I didn't.

Raph: Yes you—Ugh! Forget it.

9

Donnie slid down the glass and landed next to Leo and Raph. Donnie chewed a gum in his mouth.

Raph: *smirks* Boo!

Donnie yelped as he accidentally swallowed the gum. He started coughing as Leo and Raph laughed their heads off. After a few minutes of that, Donnie finally spit out the gum and it landed on the window sil.

Mikey: Ewwwwww... Donnie!

9

The turtles kidnapped the Foot ninjas one by one and it wasn't long until they were all tied to the ceiling.

Bradford: What the?

A few foot ninjas began falling from the ceiling then it wasn't long until all fell down.

Cut!

Jerry: Do you guys know how to tie knots?

*crickets*


	5. I think his name is Baxter Stockman

**I think his name is Baxter Stockman**

 **TMNT (C) NICKLOEDON**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **Okay, I may have accidentally put Turtle Temper instead of New Friend old enemy in the last chapter.**

 **Kim and Jerry are camera men/women.**

Jerry: *noneneegetic* Hey, guys—*yawns*— sorry, no sleep…last night. *yawn* Have ta…have to…oh, just forget it. We have a new recruit, named Blister.

Direct: Get ready to shoot, everyone!

Jerry: Donnie, why did we have to go through the military junk yard again?

Donnie: Have you forgotten, Jerry?! We have to find an incredibly advanced AI microchip made from self-assembled chain linked copolymer for the T-pod.

Mikey: By the way, I'm the one who came up with the name.

Jerry and Donnie rolled their eyes.

Direct: Hey, Jerry, why not take a day off and Kim will take the footage for ya.

Jerry: Kim?

Kim: Yes, I'm Kim, newest recruit. I'll substitute your for today, Jerry, am I right?

Jerry: *goo goo ga ga eyes* Y-yeah…

9

There was a makeshift ramp and at the end was Raph, Donnie, and Leo, all crouched on the floor in a row. At the top of the ramp was Mikey, skateboard in hand, and a smile on his face.

Mikey: And now, The Kid goes for the world record! He will attempt to jump three mutant turtles!

Raph: I can't believe he talked us into this.

There was a rumbling noise.

Donnie: Does anyone else hear that?

A few seconds later, the makeshift ramp fell to the floor.

Linda: Janitor!

9

Splinter: How many times have I told you not to skateboard in the lair?

Mikey: None, Sensei…

Splinter: I haven't?

Direct: Cut! You should snap, "I shouldn't have to tell you!" Because the turtles are supposed to know that they aren't supposed to!

Kim: *whispers to Jerry* Is he always like this?

Jerry: *yawns* He's just cranky... *yawns* and sleepy. Just like me... *dozes off*

Kim: *rolls eyes*

9

Donnie runs towards his brothers.

Donnie: Guys! Gu— *trips* Gah!

Direct: Cut! Donatello, give ya lazy turtle butt some effort or your fired!

Donnie: *murmurs* Man, I wish that we moved the shooting day tomorrow. Direct's getting really cranky.

Mikey: Yeah, like Raph.

Direct: GET UP ALREADY!

Donnie: Getting, getting up.

9

Mikey: Hey, Donnie! Thanks for all the new songs!

Donnie: Wait… What new songs?

Leo: Keep it down, you guys!

No one responded to him. Donnie jumped up, landing in a handstand on Mikey's shoulders. Then fell off, and due to Mikey skateboarding over the rooftops, rolled.

Donnie: *gets up* Ugh... *gasps* Guys, wait for meeeeeeeee!

9

The three turtles were about to attack Bayer–

Mikey: Wait!

The turtles fell to the ground, a few feet away from Blister.

Mikey: I have to go to the little turtle's room!

Mikey zips to the toilet.

Direct: Cut!

9

The turtles heard police sirens which were accompanied by red and blue lights

Mikey:Oh no, it's the spoc!

Donnie: What?

Direct: Cops! COPS! CO-OPS! COPS!

9

Splinter: Yame!

The turtles stand on one knee in a line.

Splinter: Is there something you want to tell me?

Mikey: Something we wanna tell you? Heh…nope.

Splinter: You all seem tired.

Leo: No, we're not!

Donnie: Wide awake!

Raph: Fresh as daisies!

Mikey: Raph, don't you know? Kimie's allergic to daisies!

Turtles: Kimie?

Mikey: Well, yeah I heard Jerry call Kim Kimie.

*crikets*

Mikey: What?

9

Stockman was causing havoc in TCRI, in a suit 10 time bigger than the night before.

Baxter: At last, I will have my revenge!

Worker1 : Who…who are you?

Baxter: You'll never know? I'm the thing that haunts your nightmares! I'm the nameless shadow who—

Worker 2: Dexter Spackman?

Baxter: It's Baxter Stockma–

Direct: Cut!

9

Mikey threw two pizza pies at Stinkman. The pizzas smacked into his face. He kicked he pizza for a while.

Baxter: Is this hot cheese? Yum!

9

Splinter: Brute force is not the answer. You will need to rely on your ninja training.

Mikey: Excuse me, Sensei, but, ninjas never had to go up against guys in armor.

Splinter leaned to the side, lost his balance and fell.

*laughter*

Direct: CUT!

Mikey: Man, I kinda feel sorry for Ha–

Raph: *slaps hand over Mikey's mouth* *whispers* Don't call him that! Not now, he'll burn us to the ground.

Mikey: *small nod*

9

The three turtles were on a rooftop.

Donnie: Are you sure this is gonna work?

Leo: Just like Sensei said, don't fight the armor, fight the guys inside. And if there one thing we know about bad guys, they love chasing Mikey.

Mikey: WHY IS IT ALWAYS MEEEEEE?!


	6. Metalhead

**Metalhead**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **It's school guys, ya know how it is.**

9

Jerry: Hey, guys, guess what?

Mikey: Your going to the olympics?

Donnie: We're going to another military junkyard?

Leo: There's a new Space heroes episode?

Raph: Your fired.

...

Raph: What?

Jerry: No. I. Asked. Kim. On. A. Date!

L, D, M: Waoh...

Raph: Eh, congrats. At least your doing better then Donnie here.

Donnie: *growls*

Direct: Alright, guys, I want Metalhead to be destroyed the least times possible.

Donnie: Yeah, I don't want him to be destroyed more than 10 times.

Raph: Well, good luck with that. 'Cause I don't think that the Kraang are going to take it easy on us.

9

The turtles return from a battle. Except that the manhole cover was blocked by a Kraang body Donnie brought along.

Raph: Was that supposed to fit?

Donnie: *kicks body* Ow! Ow! My foot! My beautiful scientific foot!

9

Splinter: It's not the weapon that makes you superior to the Kraang.

Donnie: *sarcastic* You're right, Sensei. It's not the the weapon that makes me superior to the Kraang. It's the script! Now we're the script writer?

9

April: Hey guys, check out this post I got!

Raph: Hang on, April, I just have to beat Lemonardo.

Kim: Wasn't it supposed to be Lame-o-nardo?

9

Dr. Cranksaw was destroyed in a Space Heroes episode.

Leo: What a hero.

Raph: How is he a hero? Captain Ryan just destroyed Dr. Cranksaw!

...

Kim: I thought he hated Space Heroes.

Jerry: You and me both.

9

A robot turtle stepped out of Donnie's lab.

Robot: Take me to your leader.

Mikey: Me! I'm the leader!

Raph: *snorts* Yeah, right.

9

Donnie: Gentlemen…reckless and impulsive Raphael.

Raph: Oh, I'll show ya who's inplusive! *chases after Donnie*

9

Raph: I don't need a toaster to fight my battles for me.

Mikey: He's not a toaster, Raph. He doesn't taost bread.

9

~after the fight with Metalhead~

Leo: *groans* Medic!

9

Raph: Ready to bash some bots?

Leo: Destroy some droids?

Mikey: Clean up some closets?

...

Jerry: How do closets have anything to do with this?

Direct: I don't know, but it's good. Keep rolling.

Jerry: *shrugs* Ah, well, your the boss.

9

Leo: What is wrong with your arms?

Donnie: They aren't on my hips?

Leo: No!

Donnie: Should I keep going?

Direct: *thumbs up*


	7. Monkey Brains

Monkey Brains

TMNT (C) NICKLOEDON

I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.

Trying to make it up to yah all. (I don't really sound like this. I'm just lazy at typing.) Me and my friends are making film. I might give you the link if you ask. :)

Thank you for more than 1000 views! (I don't know if I'm really supposed to say this.)

9

Raph: Do you guys really think it's a good idea to hire a mutant monkey.

Rockwell: It won't be long, turtle. *chuckles* It won't be long...

9

Mikey: And…backflip!

Mikey backflips, avoiding Donnie's attack.

Donnie: Dude, what are you doing? You don't defend against Seoi Nage using backflips!

Raph: Has anyone seen my marbles?

Mikey does another backflip…he slips on marbles on the floor.

Mikey: Waah! Okay, who put those there?

Raph: *smirks* My marbles!

9

Donnie was drawing something for his flowchart.

Jerry: *looks at drawings* What're they supposed to be?

The drawings were merely scribbles.

Donnie: *Slumps* I have no idea.

9

Raph: What if she says she can't 'cause your a total nerd?

Donnie: Ah, I have a thread for that right here. I will list my non-nerdy qualities and suggest acitivited that hilights my coolness. Such as skateboarding or shark wresting.

Raph: *crosses arms* Oh yeah? Prove it.

~2 hours later~

Donnie won wresting to a shark.

Raph: Huh, he really can wrestle a shark.

9

April: Hey, guys.

Donnie flips the flowchart and after a few flips, he goes along with it.

April: Okay... I'll be right back.

9

Leo: Alirght, Flaco we had enough of your–

Raph: Do not say–

Leo and Raph: Monkeying around.

Leo: Jinx, you owe me a soda!

9

Splinter: April, it seems you have a rare gift, a sensitivity I have trained my entire life to develop.

April: Don't worry, you'll get it.

Splinter: I DID! IT JUST TOOK ME A LONG TIME!

April: Ow...

9

Donnie: Hey, April, you, uh, wanna hang out tonight?

April: That sounds great, Donnie. But I can't. I'm training with Splinter to be a kunoichi.

Donnie: Oh. If training with Splinter…

...

Donnie: Well, then, maybe we can train together sometime.

...

Donnie: April? April!

Raph: It took ya such along time to come up with a response that she left two hours ago. Ha! Better put that in your worthless flowchart.

Donnie: It's not worthless!


	8. Never Say Xever

**Never Say Xever**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **Guys, I'm going to use an online script of TMNT 2012. This makes writing this fanfic waaaaay easier.**

9

Jerry: You guys rember Xever? Yeah that guys who dislikes Bradford just like he dislikes the turtles? Yeah. Oh, you guys remember Bradford too, right? Don't tell anyone, but they'll be freaks in the next episode! Isn't that great?!

Xever & Bradford: NO IT'S NOT!

Kim: Hey, Jerry.

Jerry: *nervous* Oh, h-hey K-Kimie. H-how are you-you doing? Hmmm? *laughs nervously*

Raph: *Passes by* Some way to talk to a girl.

Steam comes out of Jerry's head.

9

Shredder: You were such a promising student. I expected much more from you.

Bradford: Sensei, give me another chance. I will not fail you again.

Shredder: No, you won't. Xever, you are in charge.

Bradlford: I won't take orders from this gutter trash.

Xever: Who are you calling gutter trash, bearded armor.

Bradford: Oh you little– *lungs at Xever*

[arguing]

Shredder: *sigh*

9

April: Don't worry, you'll love this noodle place I found.

Mikey: A place, made out of noodle?! I'm in!

Direct: Cut! Mikey, do you know what she's talking about?

Mikey: Hmmmmm... Nope!

(graons)

9

Raph: Are you sure that we're welcome?

April: Oh, yeah. Mr. Murakami doesn't care what you look like. In fact, he won't even know what you look like. He's blind.

Jerry: How were you able to hire a blind person?

Direct: He's not actually blind.

Jerry: Has he seen the turtles before?

Direct: Nope.

Kim: Will he scream?

Mr. Murukami: [screams] MUTANT FREAKS!

Kim: I'll take that as a yes.

9

Splinter: A Domino of the "in times of peace, never forget the possibility of war. In times of war, never forget compassion.

...

Splinter: What? Did I say something.

Leo: Sensei, it's Daimyo, not Domino.

[crickets]

9

Leo: We're here, Xever.

Mikey: Now let the noodle man go.

Leo: Hey, that's my line!

Mikey: (chuckles nervously) Okay... You say it.

9

Xever: See, Bradford? That is how you catch turtles.

Donnie: [clears throat] Uh, excuse me, but we're _mutant_ turtles.

9

Bradford: See, Bradford? That is how you catch turtles. And next, I'll show you how to filet them.

Donnie: [clears throat] Excuse me, but you don't fi—"

Direct: DONNIE!

Donnie: Oh, uh, okay, shutting up now.

9

Leo: Oh-ho. I'll show you who's wimpy. No mercy. [tackles Raph]

[fighting] [crack]

Raph: Oh, that's gotta hurt. M-Medic!


	9. The gauntlet

**THe Gauntlet**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **I will be posting a chapter for interviews. Ask your questions in "TMNT interview 1 season 1"**

9

Jerry: Hey, guys! Guess what?

Mikey: Are we gonna get pounded to the ground?

Jerry: Hmmm... No…Yes!

Raph: And why is that a good thing?

Jerry: Because it's the mid-season finale... I think. But I'm getting a raise in this episode! Yeah!

Mikey: No fair!

April: I'm getting chased by a mutant pigeon!

Kim: Let's get on with the shooting before this gets ugly.

9

April is running away from Pigeon Pete.

April: *screams*

Jerry: She's being chased by a mutant in the broad daylight in the middle of public and no one notices.

Direct: Yep.

April: I'm gonna have to take a day off tomorrow for this!

9

Mikey: I'm making breakfast! Who wants omelets?

Donnie: Omelets? Mikey, don't!

Mikey: Uh, I think that was a rotten egg.

Donnie: Those aren't eggs, Mikey. They're ninja smoke bombs.

Mikey: Shut up. *smoke bomb* This *smoke bomb* is the best day *smoke bomb* of my life!

Donnie: Mikey, stop!

Mikey: *smoke bomb* I love you, man. *kisses Donnie on the cheek* Seriously.

Donnie: Blech! Was that really necessary?

Kim: No. But it's sweet.

9

Leo: All right, mighty mutants, let's do this.

Raph: "Mighty mutants"? What, "dancing dorks" was already taken?

Leo: Hey, I didn't write the script.

9

-shredder's lair-

Bradford: It's okay, Hachiko, I'm not gonna hurt you.

The dog bit Cris, who was attempting to pet him.

Bradford: Ow!

Xever: *laughs*

Bradford: Agh! *tries to shake the dog off* Get off! Get off!

...

Direct: …We'll… get back to yah.

9

Xever: That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

Bradford: If it's the ugliest thing you've ever seen then why do you want to make it into sushi?

Xever: It's the script!

9

Raph: Will you hurry up and defuse the bomb? We're dealing with a couple of nutjobs here.

Bradford: Who are you calling a nutjob?

Xever: I'm gutter trash!

Bradford: I thought you–ugh! Never mind.

Jerry: Why does this remind me of someone?

9

-back at shredder's lair-

Bradford is running around and screaming with the dog still biting his hand.

Cris: Get it offff!

9

Direct: Jerry, this scene is too violent for young viewers so your gonna have to turn the camera off.

Jerry: But this is huge!

Direct: And violent.

Jerry: It's exciting!

Direct: And violent.

Jerry: It's what everyone is waiting for!

Direct: It's violent. What if I send Kim with you?

Jerry: Deal.

...

Bradlford: Get him off! Get him offfffff!

Jerry: Hoe did we get stuck here again?

Kim: Don't remind me.

9

The turtles are beaten by the shredder.

~sad moment~

Mikey: * snickers*

...

Mikey: *laughs*

Turtles: Mikey!

Mikey: *laughs* Sorry, *snickers* can't help myself!


	10. Panic in the sewers

**Panic in the sewers**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **Forget about the interview! There will only be one interview per season: after I post the bloopers for the season finale.**

 **I forgot to thank Angelxoxo8 for saying that she uses online script. Now I don't have to spent an hour on the screen re-watching the episode.**

 **Awards:**

 **Cat girl: For giving the longest review.**

 **Hermana Kunochi and pownzmanonnie: For having almost the same reviews.**

9

 **HELP WANTED!**

 **REQUIRMENTS:**

 **Must have at least ONE TMNT story.**

 **Must NOT say F***, S***, B*****, etc. (I only know these words because my classmates say it a lot. Oh, and in movies)**

 **Must know how to control temper. (Seriously, I've had enough with the current Direct: Harry Homes)**

 **Must not give a special treatment to any of the turtles. EVEN when they are your favorite.**

 **Last and final requirement, must not be a sore loser.**

 **HOW TO IMPRESS ME:**

 **Write a TMNT fanfic that has one to five chapters, and is rated K, K plus, or T. The story mud not be Tcest. May be fluffy. Don't make me cry. You may but it must have a happy ending. No canon or OC death. Please!**

 **OTHER PEOPLE WHO TRIED BUT DIDN'T WIN WILL BECOME REPORTERS.**

 **THANK YOU FOR READING**

 **Current contestants:**

 **Angelxoxo8**

9

Jerry: Hey, guys! I'm so happy today!

Rain: Why?

Jerry: Beacuse I get another raise if I stay up all night!

9

Jerry: *tired* Totally not worth it.

Donnie: *tired* Can I have some coffee?

Splinter: No! Back to training, Donatello!

9

Splinter: Rest? The shredder will not rest, until you are all DEAD!

Raph: *whispers* That's just the script talking, right?

Leo: I hope so.

9

Captain Ryan: I've got it. I'll use the thermal charge.

*show continues in the background*

Raph aims surikens at the DVD player but always misses.

Direct: Cut! Raphael, what's wrong with your aim?

Raph: *tired* Hmm?

Direct: Ugh! Coffee!

9

Leo: Cool off, Raph!

Mikey: I can help with that!

Leo and Raph turn to see Mikey throwing water balloons everywhere but always misses Raph.

Direct: What is wrong with everyone's aim today?

9

Mikey: And this is how I deal.

Mikey attempts to hit Leo, who ducks, but then it misses Donnie. Next thing you know, all the turtles stare at him while attempting to hit Donnie.

Jerry: He's supposed to hit Leo but he sucks and it hits Donnie instead.

Direct: Supposedly.

9

Leo: Hiccup no chalupa.

...

Leo: Hiccup no chalupa.

*snicker*

Leo: What?

Donnie: *snickers* Leo it's…uh…

Direct: Hoko no kamae! Hoko no kamae!

Donnie: That.

Leo: Ugh... Why can't we just speak English?

9

Dogpound: Look what I found, four soon-to-be-ex-turtles.

Donnie: Is that even possible?

Dogpound: I...I don't know. It's just the script.

9

Leo: Mikey, smoke!

Mikey grabs a smoke bomb but it bounces on his hand and lands on the ground with a small cloud of smoke.

Raph: What was that?

Mikey: I'm stressed! Excuse me if my aim's a little off!

Direct: YOU'D BETTER!

9

Shredder: Five of you will hijack a tanker truck on Houseton in aboxizmately 15 minutes.

Fishface: *whispers to Dogpound* It's hard to take him seriously with that mistake.

Dogpound: *whispers to Xever* You said it, old pal.

Kim: I thought they were enemies.

Jerry: Hint, whenever you see them fight, they're just practicing for the shoot. And whenever you see them bond, that's the real them.

Kim: Ohh...

9

Donnie: Clorophylic acid?

Kim: No.

9

Donnie: Coffee acid?

Jerry: No.

9

Donnie: Clueless acid?

Kim and Jerry: NO!

9

Donnie: Chlorosulfonic acid?

Everyone: Yes!

Donnie: Whoohoo! I got— *detaches from Leo and slides away* ...it. (-_-)

9

Leo: Mikey! Throw the water balloon!

Mikey: Uh, what water balloon?

Leo: The one you were gonna hit me with?

Mikey: Dude, you are good.

Mikey tries to hit the tank, and as we all know, he misses. (-_-)

9

~off the set~

Mikey is being chased by Jerry.

Mikey: HEY GUYS! *pants*

Jerry: MIKEY GIVE ME BACK MY CAMERA!

Mikey: Just a sec, Jerry, I wanna use it! *pants*

Jerry: But you can't!

Mikey: That's exactly why I took it! *pants* Anyway, *pant* Here are the misses of the day remix.

9

Misses of the day remix

Raph misses

Mikey misses

Raph misses

Mikey misses

Mikey throws

Leo ducks

Mikey misses

Mikey misses

Mikey misses

THE END


	11. Mousers attack

**Mousers attack**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **School, guys, it's school.**

 **To Cat Girl:**

 **Type your one-shot fanfic in the review or make an account and PM me.**

 **Contestants for the new direct:**

 **Angelxoxo8**

 **Cat Girl**

 **Hermana Kunochi**

9

Jerry: Nothing much to say except the fact that I actually hit Mikey for taking my camera. :)

Mikey: Oh! And don't forget the part when Harry just got fired.

Jerry: Oh! Yeah, yeah! And that. Auditions are officially open!

9

Leo: Look g— woah! *trips* Oof.

9

Leo: There's no shame in it. Look, they have a B-team too.

Captain Ryan: We'll need backup. You two in the shirts you're coming with us.

They teleport to a planet and the guys in the shirts get vaporized.

Cranksaw: Rodriguez and that other guy they're gone!

Captain Ryan: Well, that's why we bring them along.

Donnie: Thanks a lot.

Mikey: We're gonna be vaporized?!

*SLAP!*

Mikey: *rubs cheek* Ow... What'd you do that for?!

Raph: Three words. Not. Your. Line.

9

Mikey: Oh yeah? Well if you think that your so good, maybe you should deal with the shredder once and for all!

*freeze* *crickets*

Mikey: What?

Kim: That is freaky.

9

Mikey: Maybe we should wait for Leo and Raph.

Donnie: And tell them we chickened out? Then they'll never stop calling us the B-team.

Mikey: Aww... I kinda liked being the B-team.

Donnie: Why?!

Mikey: 'Cause B is for Best!

Donnie: Ohh... *slaps Mikey*

Mikey: Ow!

Donnie: Idiot.

9

Leo: Mousers?

Baxter: Maybe open upgrade sumo, ex-rebel scenario... Wait, that's not right.

9

Baxter: Mobile... What's after mobile again?

Kim: What?

Jerry: I thought you were smart.

Baxter: I'm not! It's just the script talking. Plus I don't even like this sweater!

9

Leo: Acid! Protect your eyes!

Raph: Wait...Its that *sniffs air* perfume?

Baxter: It's the closest thing I could find to red liquid!

9

Leo: Get 'im!

Baxter: Get me? No, you will be the ones who will be getting got.

Gotten? This doesn't seem right. *script lands on Baxter's face* *reads* Oh, it's right. Wait...but how?! I demand to know the writer of this script!

9

Baxter: You can't run forever. Soon, the mousers will crush your bones in their jaws. Such is the fate of anyone foolish enough to trifle with Dexter Spackman!

9

Baxter: Soon, the mousers will crush your bones in their jaws. Such is the fate of anyone foolish enough to trifle with Blister Stockboy!

9

Baxter: Soon, the mousers will crush your bones in their jaws. Such is the fate of anyone foolish enough to truffle with Backer Strudel!

...

Baxter: What! I'm hungry!

9

Leo: How are those things tracking us?

Raph: It's gotta be that stuff he sprayed us with.

Leo: You mean the perfume?

*freeze* *crickets*

Kim: Seriously?

9

Raph: You want to get bailed out by the B-team? Forget that.

Leo: Maybe we won't have to. Whatever this stuff is, we'll just wash it off.

Leo slices a pipe again and again, but nothing comes out.

Leo: What t—"

He and Raph are washed away in a large amount of water.

9

Donnie: We followed Fong to the defunct futon factory on fifth.

Mikey: *chuckles* Say that five times fast.

Donnie: *sigh* WefollowedFongtothedefunctfutonfactoryonfifth. WefollowedFongtothedefunctfutonfactoryonfifth. WefollowedFongtothedefunctfutonfactoryonfifth. WefollowedFongtothedefunctfutonfactoryonfifth. WefollowedFongtothedefunctfutonfactoryonfifth. There, happy?

Mikey: I did not know you could do that.

9

Donnie: Okay, let's do this.

Mikey: B-team is go!

Donnie: Don't call us that.

Mikey: *puppydog eyes* But B stands for best!

9

Dogpound: If that phone tells me where Splinter is, I'll have no reason to keep you alive. And if it doesn't tell me, I'll get the answers out of you. *punches wall* *hand passs thoguht eh otherside* It's stuck!

Mikey: Haha! It's stuck!

9

Raph: You try fighting off 2,000 robots! Plus the ones we left on the street!

9

Donnie: A gamma camera. It detects radioisotopes. That must be what he's tagged you with.

Raph: He didn't tag us with some spray.

Donnie: Then what did he tag you with?

Raph: Perfume!

Donnie: Seriously?

9

Donnie: We gotta get Stockman's spray.

Raph: It's perfume.

Kim: Enough with the perfume thing already!

9

Donnie: Hang it up, Dogpound. Your call just got dropped.

Baxter: That-that's a really good pun.

9

Jerry: Before we leave, Linda's fired too. She didn't actually get fired, she quit because Stinkman was keep flirting with her.

Baxter: It's Stockman!


	12. It came from the depths

**It came from the depths**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **This will be directed by Angel! Yay! It's for the competition. So happy I finally found the time to write! :)**

 **Angel, thank you for giving time to help me type this!**

 **Contestants for the new direct:**

 **Angelxoxo8**

 **Hermana Kunochi**

9

Jerry: Hey, guys, Jerry here! You remember the "Help Wanted poster, right? Well, Angel is here to direct! And Judy White is here to interview her. Watch this video.

1

Judy: Hey, guys, I'm Judy White. And today I'll be interviewing Angelxoxo8. *turns to Angel* Angel, why do you think that you should be the new director?

Angel: Well, I think the show is great, and everyone seems to get along well. I think it would be good for me.

Judy: Do you have any love interest?

Angel: Nnnnope, nope, nope, nope. No. Uh-uh. Next question!

Judy: How do you fell right now? Besides a little bored that is.

Angel: (chuckles) I feel like I'm on Cloud 9!

Judy: In your stories, why do the characters hate saying the disclaimer?

Angel: Because they're just confusing like that, I don't know.

Judy: Okay then, last question. Do—

Kim: Guys, it's time to shoot!

Angel: Well, that's my cue! Nice talking with you, Judy.

Judy: Um, see you next time, guys, for the interview of Hermana Kunochi!

9

Angel: Okay, action!

Mikey: Who wants to try my latest creation? We all love pizza. We all love milkshakes. So I combined them.

Donnie: Okay, that could not be less appetizing.

Leo: Are you kidding? Mikey made it. Of course it's less appetizing!

Mikey: Ow, the went through my heart, dude. Squish, squish.

9

Mikey: I call it a P-shake.

Donnie: *barfs*

Turtles: Eww, Donnie!

Donnie: Okay, okay, I'm so sorry.

Mikey: Good, now would you like to try a P-shake?

Donnie: *barfs*

Angel: Oh boy.

Jerry: Is anyone gonna clean that up?

Angel: Janitor, please!

9

Mikey: You guys just have no sense of adventure. *drinks P-shake* Blech!

Turtles: Ewww..

Mikey: Hey, A, do I really have to finish this?

Angel: Script says you have to.

9

[Space heroes]

Raph: You have to be the only person in the world who likes this show.

Leo: No way. Angel likes it.

Angel: No comment.

9

Leo: Well, what do you want to do? Take him back to the lair? Mikey: *puppy dog eyes* [whimpering]

Leo: Oh, no. Oh, no. There is absolutely NO way I'm falling for that agian! No way!

Angel: [to Kim & Jerry] Since when has he NOT fallen' for it?

Leo: No, Mikey, not buying it!

Donnie: [whispers to Raph] He's really working on resisting the puppy dog eyes isn't he?

Raph: Yup.

Leo: Get away, Mikey, stop it!

Angel: (sighs) Cut!

9

Splinter: You made a wise decision, Michelangelo.

Others: Huh?

Splinter: Yes, I never thought I'd hear myself say that either.

Raph: *whispers to Donnie* That's just the script, right?

Donnie: I hope so too.

9

Turtles: *search for power cell*

Raph: I don't suppose this is a power cell.

Leo: Huh? [gasps] Oh.

Kim: What's a can of soup doing in a pile of Kraang?

Angel: Oh, that's where my lunch went!

9

Mikey: We brought you here so you could get better. And nothing will heal you faster than my world famous pizza noodle soup.

Leatherhead: *eats pizza noodle soup* This is the best thing I have ever tasted.

Jerry: *whispers to Angel* And most possibly the only thing he's ever tasted.

Angel: *glares and crosses arms* Don't say that.

Kim: *growls at Jerry*

Jerry: *wistles innocently*

9

Jerry: Angel, if you don't mind, I'm going to leave. This scene may be too violent for the kids.

Angel: I have no problem with that.

Jerry: *murmurs* Jeez, I thought that you would say no.

9

Kim: Jerry you could come back now!

Leo: Where the heck are we?

Donnie: According to my calculations *sniffs air* sewer plant.

Mikey: Woah, it's as beautiful as they say.

Raph: Two things. One, how is a sewer plant beautiful to you? Two, haven't you been here before?

Mikey: I don't know.

Raph: *face plam* Angel, has Mikey been here before?

Angel: How should I know...?

9

Kraang: We must notify Kraang, that the ones called the turtles have taken Kraang's power cell from Kraang.

Leatherhead: [growls] You won't be telling anyone anything. [roars]

Kraang: Why me?


	13. I, monster

**I, monster**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **This a fan will be directed by Hermana! Yay! Oh, and the show here is longer than Angelxoxo8's Beacuse I want to challenge Hermana's English.**

 **Contestants for the new direct:**

 **Angelxoxo8**

 **Hermana Kunochi**

 **Cat girl**

9

Judy: And welcome back! Today, we will be interviewing Hermana Kunochi!

Hermana: Hey, there!

Judy: Hermana, why do you think that you should be the new director of the set?

Hermana: I think it sounds as a good opportunity to learn English better. Besides, I'll write my Spanish in English in a few months, once I have time.

Judy: Okay then. Do you like the challenge of typing the Kraang?

Hermana: Portraying the Kraang is already hard in Spanish, 'cause we compose phrases in a different way. English is a totally diferent way of doin' it.

Judy: Well, surprise, 'cause today, we have a Kraang Squad to teach tell you how to speak Kraang.

Hermana: Wait, what was that last bit?

Kraang 1: Kraang, it is the one known as Hermana Kunochi.

Hermana: Kraang? At my interview? Of course.

Kraang 2: Kraang thought that the one known as Hermana Kunochi speaks the language known as Spanish.

Hermana: I'll tell you this in Spanish, Kraang, "Son unos tarados".

Kraang 3: The one known as Hermana, do you like the ones known as the turtles?

Hermana: If I didn't, do you think I'd be here?

Kraang 4: In that case—

Kraang sub-prime: Seriously?! Why can't we just speak how I speak?! That way Hermana wouldn't have a hard writing how we speak!

Hermana: Sub-Prime, that's a totally different deal, regular Kraang are dumber. But, still funny.

Kraang sub-prime: So let's start over, shall we? Uh how do you say that again? Oh, uh, Como illamas?

Hermana: Como te llamas!

Kim: Guys, it's time to shoot!

Kraang sub-prime: Oh, look at the time, gotta go!

9

Leo: Okay, here's the plan. Donnie, you're going to strike first.

Donnie: No, wait. You want me to come at Splinter? I'll get pummeled.

Mikey: Don't we get pummeled everyday?

Raph: He's gotta point.

9

Mikey: The hand that punched Splinter. You know, you can never wash this again.

Leo: What? That's gross! I'm washing it!

Mikey: But you can't! It's the hand that punched Splinter!

Hermana: Mikey, if you kicked Splinter's butt with your foot, wouldn't you wash your foot?

9

Leo: We are definitely getting better.

Raph: Think we might be catching up to Splinter?

Donnie: Yeah, maybe soon, we won't need him to train us at all.

Hermana: Yeah, wait for when you have kids and train them.

Mikey: Ow. Think that went through the heart dudes, squish squish.

9

Rat King: Through your eyes, brothers, I finally see the world for what it really is. This city is infested. Scrambling around in their pointless lives, spreading disease, forcing us to live in the shadows, like vermin.

Kim: Aren't rats vermins?

Hermana: They're pests.

Donnie: Rats aren't vermins, they're rodents.

Hermana: Such as Mikey chewing on a pizza.

9

Rat King: They are the true plague.

Mikey: Hey! Your a human too, you know!

Hermana: I still don't understand the point in calling himself 'Rat King'.

9

Leo: Uh, guys, we may have a problem.

Mikey: Oh, rats.

Raph: Get it? For the 14th time, yes.

Kim: How may times has Mikey said that?

Hermana: Fourteen and counting.

9

Leo: Chew on that, rat finks! Oh, come on. That sounded cool.

Kim: I don't think so. What do you think, Hermana?

Hermana: Neh, not bad.

9

Leo: Donnie, you're the smart one. What do we do?

Donnie: Maybe we should poke him.

Leo: Good idea. Mikey, poke him.

Mikey: No way, I'm not poking him. You poke him.

Leo: Okay, we'll put it to a vote.

Turtles: Mikey.

Mikey: I want a recount.

Leo: Okay, Kim, Jerry, and Hermana, do you agree that Mikey should poke Splinter?

Kim & Jerry: Agree.

Hermana: It's his funeral.

9

Mikey: *Splinter voice* Michelangelo is awesome. He is the smartest, handsomest, butt-kicking-est of all my sons.

Donnie: Is that even a word?

Mikey: I don't know, but I sounds better than most-agility-est.

Donnie: Yeah... Still not a word.

Hermana: Mikey invents new words every time he can.

9

The turtles try to grab onto pipes. The three turtles succeed but Mikey tried to grab onto the pipe. He is too late and the rats drag him along with them.

Turtles: Mikey!

Mikey: Dudes, I think that a rat or two entered my shell! Help!

Hermana: Let's just hope they don't get to his butt.

9

Jerry: Hope you don't mind, Hermana, but um, violent scene, leaving now.

Hermana: As you wish, it's a free country.

9

Jerry: Man, I regret leaving whenever there is violent scene. I could've given Dr. Flaco some candy.


	14. New Girl in Town

**New Girl in town**

 **TMNT (c) Nick**

 **I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY PERMISSION TO DO THIS.**

 **Update, yay! Auditions are still open, y'all! C'mon, if you want. If your too scared, remember:**

 **"It's better to fail trying than not having tried at all."**

 **-Tikki (from miraculous ladybug)**

 **I decided to update at least once every week. 2 000 views! But like in my profile, I aim to have at least 10 followers and 15 favorites.**

 **Most of this chapter was written by Cat Girl. I deleted the review so that NO ONE will be spoiled.**

 **In the next chapter, Angelxoxo8 and Hermana will work together! Yay! I hope everyone likes the chapter since it's a lot of work. And it will kinda take a while. If I don't update in a while, it means that you should expect a bunch of new fanfiction from me! Oh, and constant updates on the ones I have!**

 **Contestants for the new direct:**

 **Angelxoxo8**

 **Hermana Kunochi**

 **Cat Girl**

9

Myla: Hey, guys, I'm Myla! You know, Pinkie N? Also known as the author? Anyway, I'll be attending episode shoots more often!

Jerry: Am I getting a raise?

Myla: If your good. Cat girl is going to be the new direct for today! So nobody complain!

9

Cat girl: *using loud speaker* And ACTION!

Raph: Jeesh woman do you really need that loud speaker to tell us that?

Cat girl: I am the director now (hugs loud speaker) And this is going to be with me the entire time.

Raph: (sarcastically) Oh joy.

Myla: Yeah, if she wins, it's permanent.

Raph: If she wins, give me a raise or I'm outta here.

Myla: Okay, I don't care maybe I could get Casey to play your role.

Raph: (growls) FINE!

9

Mikey: NOO! Not the pizza guy! Take Donnie!

Donnie: Gee I feel loved.

Mikey: Sorry dude! Its the script! ( looks at script.) You're heartless! ( rips it.)

Cat girl: MIKEY!

Mikey: Opps sorry dudette, uh, anyone know what my next line is?

Cat girl: ( face palms.)

Myla: Why do I feel like Mikey is more airheaded than usual?

Raph: Peobably because he ate more pizza than usual.

9

Raph: And the award for the worst leader goes to—

Leo: How am I the worst leader?

Raph: If we did this my way, Snakeweed would be toast by now.

Mikey: Man, that sounds like nasty toast.

Cat girl: Ditto!

9

(after Leo leaves.)

Mikey: I can't believe he's gone!

Donnie: Don't worry Mikey, pizza guy just needs some space, wait you meant the Leo didn't you?

Mikey: Dude, you flip flopped that line so bad like a fish flops out of a pond.

Cat girl: How does he come up with these similes?

Kim: *whispers* He's not actually stupid in real life. He's actually really smart.

Cat girl: Oh...

Myla: I don't thinks so. He's so smart that he can't figure out one plus one.

Mikey: I know what one plus one is! It's three!

Myla: See?

9

Raph: I'm ( whispers.) sorry.

Leo: Huh what? I can't hear you.

Raph: I said I'm SORRY.

Leo: Yikes! Okay not That loud! Gosh I am going to be deaf before I reach twenty.

Cat girl: Me to ( rubs ear.)

Raph: You stuck the mouth end of your loud speaker in your ear to hear me!

Cat girl: I know. ( shrugs.)

Raph: ugh, ( whispers to Jeremy,) just How Long is she staying director?

Jerry: Just don't pray that she'll win.

9

Donnie: Snake weed is getting away!

Leo: We've got him trapped!

Raph: Good, then lets go weed whacking!

Donatello: Tree trimming!

Cat girl: Pfft and you guys say Leo has lame lines ( laughs.)

Leo/Raph/ Donnie: HEY!

Cat girl: What? I'm being honest!

(Mikey is still scooping up his ripped up script)

Cat girl: Got your line yet Mikey?

Mikey: Uhh something about a sundae with sprinkles, wait, Do we get sundaes with sprinkles?! Booyah! I love this new director!

Cat girl: Uhm not really in the script Mikey, but sure later we can!

Mikey: BOOYAKASHA!

Myla: When was this scene again?

9

Raph: Then work faster!

Donnie: Do you really think yelling will help?

Raph: No, I think hitting will help!

Donnie: Oh yeah tough guy? I have a far better chance of tackling you to the ground AND getting this done under three minutes flat! Ha!

Raph: Oh yeah?! ( tackles Donnie and they roll around.)

Cat Girl: CUT!

Donnie: (weakly) Medic.

9

Donnie: April texted me? APRIL TEXTED ME! OH THIS IS THE BEST DAY! I mean it's had its ups and downs,

Mikey: And spins and twirls, and bumps and bruises, not to mention twirls.

Cat girl: Mikey, darling, not your line.

Mikey: Is to!

Cat girl: Oh yeah? Who says?

Mikey: Mr Lizard! ( holds up stuffed lizard.) 'ello ditrecta!

Cat girl: ( blank face.) Cut.

Myla: Where'd you get that? I hid that in the back!

Mikey: I don't know, but I did NOT follow you to the back and take your key and took this.

9

Raph: So who's the girl that tried to kill you?

Leo: She didn't try to kill me, she saved me.

Raph: She threw a knife at your head!

Leo: She threw a knife _near_ my head.

Raph: She is in the foot clan!

Leo: No one's perfect.

Cat girl: Ha, tell that to her face THEN she'll kill you.

Leo: Aren't you directors supposed to be quiet while its our line?

Cat girl: Aren't you actors supposed to do what we say and when we say it?

...

Cat girl: What I thought. ( smiles.)

9

Myla: On a rage of 1-10, 10 being the best and 1 being the worst... I think I'll rate Angel 8, Hermana 8. _1_ for being funny, and Cat Girl, 8. Still passing. Still passing. Once there are at least 5 competitors, I'll hold a vote.


	15. The Alein Agenda

**The Alien Agenda**

 **TMNT (C) NICKLOEDON**

 **Amy (c) Angelxoxo8**

 **Kevin (c) Hermana Kunochi**

 **Votes are on!**

9

Judy: Welcome back to our show! Today, we'll be interviewing Hermana and Angel!

Hermana: Whaddup, people?

Angel: Hi!

Judy: So, Hermana, how does it feel like to be a contestant of the new director of TMNT?

Hermana: As if I was on Cloud 9! I mean, it's awesome!

Judy: How about you, Angel?

Angel: It feels awesome! It's nice to have a chance to direct.

Judy: Okay! Let's go to my favorite part, shall we? *gets list* You'll tell me what first comes into your mind. Ready?

Hermana: As ready as I'll always be. *smirks*

Angel: I'm ready!

Judy: Okay, ready or not, here we go! Ahem, Amy.

Angel: Ice queen.

Hermana: Sweet.

Judy: Kevin.

Hermana: Silly, in some aspect.

Angel: I guess quiet.

Judy: Leo.

Angel: Courageous. *swoons*

Hermana: A great leader.

Judy: Raph.

Hermana: So God dang hot. *sighs like a girl in love*

Angel: (rolls eyes) Hotheaded.

Judy: Donnie.

Angel: Smart.

Hermana: Adorable.

Judy: Mikey

Hermana: Cute!

Angel: I guess I'll say innocent.

Judy: Capril.

Angel: Booo! I hate that ship, it needs to die. Apriltello for life!

Hermana: *pukes*

Judy: Gauntlet.

Hermana: Meh.

Angel: (snickers) Um, I guess Shredder.

Judy: Wingnut.

Angel: Spoof of Batman.

Hermana: A weird copy of Batman.

Judy: Vengeance.

Hermana: A bad path.

Angel: Mm…Tiger Claw.

Judy: Agenda.

Angel: The Kraang.

Hermana: A word in Spanish I often use.

Kim: LET'S ROLL, EVERYBODY! OH, AND MYLA'S IN TOWN, AGAIN.

Hermana: Copy that!

Angel: Let's-a go!

9

Myla: Hey, Angel, Hermana.

Angel: Hi Myla!

Hermana: Hey.

Myla: So I'm here today 'cause Jerry isn't here. He has a flu, sadly. Let's start shall we? I have a play date with Oli.

Angel: Who's Oli?

Hermana: It's okay. I hope he feels better soon.

9

Leo: Relax, Mikey. *defeats Kraang* You're safe now.

Mikey: Thanks! Wait, I was fine.

Raph: *hits Mikey*

Mikey: Ow! Okay, now I'm not.

Angel: *sighs* Really Raph?

Hermana: *smacks forehead* Cut!

9

Leo: Donnie! Behind you!

Donnie: The wall?

Myla: No, April.

Hermana: *murmurs to Angel* Apriltello pun?

Angel: Definitely.

9

Mikey: You feel like we're missing something?

Donnie: All the time.

Mikey: You mean that we could've missed the release of a new pizza flavor?!

Donnie: MIKEY, WHAT PART OF, "IT'S THE SCRIPT TALKING," DO YOU NOT UNDERSATND?!

Myla: *whisper to Angel and Hermana* Sugar rush or too much coffee?

Angel: I say coffee for the win!

Hermana: I'd say... both.

April: I thought it was impossible for Donnie to blow a fuse.

Casey: And that's why you should stick with me!

Donnie: KEEP AWAY FROM MY APRIL! *chases Casey*

Casey: Gah! *runs away*

Angel: Someone had to do it.

Hermana: If it's Casey's funeral, I'll make a party.

Myla: See you next season! *murmurs* even though I don't want to.

9

Mikey: Well, I'd be awesome at it. Check this spit out.

Donnie: Don't—

Mikey: *Spits at April*

Myla: Too late.

Hermana: Ugh, Mikey! Gross!

Angel: Ewww!

Donnie: MIKEY! *chases Mikey*

Mikey: *screams while running away*

Myla: Any other guesses why Donnie's like that?

Angel: *coughs* Coffee. *cough cough*

Hermana: *rubs the sides of her head* Take two!

9

Mikey: Well, I'd be awesome at it. Check this spit out.

Donnie: Don't. *covers Mikey's mouth* It's not about spit. It's about the DNA.

Mikey: *slaps Donnie's hand off* DNA? You mean the genetic code? You know, the building blocks of life? The microscopic blueprint that tells every living thing what to grow into and—

Donnie: NOT YOUR LINE, MIKEY!

Angel: He actually memorized all of it?

Hermana: I'm still surprised Mikey learned that.

9

Ms. Campbell: Hello. I'm Ms. Campbell From the Worldwide Genome Project. Are you April O'Neil?

April: Uh, yes.

Ms. Campbell: I'm here to present your DNA test results. Come with me.

April: Wow. I figured you guys were just gonna send printouts.

Ms. Campbell: No. We don't send printouts. Come with me.

April: Uh, where exactly?

Ms. Campbell: We're going to a place where I will present your DNA test results. Come with me.

April: Uh, what did you say your name was again?

mpbell: I'm Ms. Campbell From the Worldwide Genome Project. I'm here to present your DNA test results.

April: Right. I gotta go.

Ms. Campbell: But I have not presented your DNA results. Come with me.

April: *gulp* N-no thanks.

Ms. Campbell: But I have not presented your DNA results. Come with m-m-m-me. *boom*

April: *screams* Duck and cover! *ducks and covers*

*fire alarm*

Random worker: EVERYONE FOR THEMSELVES!

Hermana: *screams and runs for her life* Sombody call the firefighters!

Angel: Everyone calm down! Someone put the fire out!

Myla: *extingushes the fire with fire extingusher* All clear, everyone.

*fire alarm stops*

9

Mikey: Okay, guys, what do you want: omelet pizza or pizza omelet?

Raph: What's the difference?

Donnie: The name.

9

April: *kicks Ms. Campbell* Ow! My foot!

Hermana: Ugh, another call for the medic?

Angel: *sighs* For like the eighth time since they've started…

9

Donnie: Well, it looks like they're collecting DNA from every plant and animal species on Earth.

Leo: What?

Mikey: Building blocks, dude. Psh, I'll drop the science on you later.

Leo: Not that kind of 'what', Mikey.

Angel: Technically, that's his line, even though it's not like him to say that.

Hermana: As if Mikey knew of science.

9

Raph: Nice try, Octo-punk!

Justin: *swats Raph away*

Mikey: No, no! Call him "Octo-eyeball-jelly-bug"! Ahh, let's just call him Justin Timberlake.

Myla: No idea where THAT came from.

Angel: Gee, I wonder…

Hermana: Maybe he found some music magazines?

9

Leo: Thank you for understanding. I'm glad you're not mad.

Splinter: Who says I am not mad? *tackles Leo*

Leo: Aaaah!

Splinter: *twists Leo's arm*

Leo: Time out! Time out! Mercy!

Hermana: Is that supposed to be on the scene?

Angel: No...

Leo: Splinter! Let go!


	16. The Pulverizer

**The pulverizer**

 **Zootopia/ Judy Hops (c) Disney**

 **Frozen (c) Disney**

 **From the disclaimer, you think that it must be a typo. Spoiler alert, it's not. You'll be seeing Olaf here. Guys, Exam week, blame the teachers for having to make it so hard.**

9

Jerry: Hey, guys, I'm back. *blows nose with tissue* *sniff* Lets just get this over with.

9

Mikey: Ugh, what's taking so long? Donnie knows I have a short atten—Ooh, gum!

Raph: Man, this better be worth it.

*Shellraiser appears*

Raph: Worth it.

Mikey: *graons* Not worth it. *pukes* Who made the script anyway? *pukes* And why do I always have to be the stupid one? *pukes*

Kim: So whose gonna clean it up?

Kim: *scrubs floor* Me and my big mouth.

9

Mikey: I hate to interrupt, but dead end!

Leo: Uh, Donnie, how do I stop this thing?

Donnie: Don't!

Leo: What?!

Donnie: Trust me!

All: [scream]

*crash*

9

Kim: Take two. *click*

Leo: Uh, Donnie, how do I stop this thing?

Donnie: Don't!

Leo: What?!

Donnie: Trust me!

All: [scream]

Donnie: *pushes button* C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Ahhhh!

*crash*

9

Kim: Take three. *click*

The turtles scream. The Shellraiser crashes, again, and the door opens after that.

Kim: On the bright side, it opened.

Donnie: *exits Shellraiser* What's keeping it form opening anyway? *investigates gate*

Leo: What do you have, Donnie?

Donnie: Snot. Lots and lots of snot.

9

Mikey: This thing have a stereo?

Donnie: What good would this thing be without some tunes?

[classical music]

Raph: Are you serious?

Donnie: Check out the second movement.

[heavy metal music in maximum volume]

Raph: Donnie!

*music stops*

Turtles: *pant*

Donnie: Everyone okay?!

Mikey: WHAT?!

Donnie: WHAT?!

Raph: DON, IF YOU SAID SOMETHING, I CAN'T YOU!

Kim: CUT!

9

[coffee break]

Kim: Hey, Don, have you seen the Shellraiser?

Don: Not really. Maybe it's with the guys.

Later...

Don: Hey, guys. Where's the Shellraiser?

Leo, Raph, and Mikey: Uh...

Earlier...

Shellraiser drives recklessly. Turtles cheer. *wistle* Shellraiser stops.

Judy Hops: *bang on door*

*ding*

Judy: *walk to Leo* Sir, is this your vehicle?

Leo: Yes.

Judy: Do you have a dirver's license?

Leo: No.

Judy: Are you authorized to drive this hunk of junk?

Leo: Yes.

Judy: Well then,

*tow truck tows Shellraiser*

Present...

Don: *face palm*

9

Pulverizer: What what's a Kraang?

Raph: If we told you, we'd have to kill you. You see, the Kraang are aliens from another dimension.

Pulverizer: You're gonna kill me, aren't you?

Raph: Well, if this would be the last time we'll need you in the set, I would. But... It isn't.

Pulverizer: Phew, that's relief.

Jerry: *whisper* Uh, *sniff* he does know that he's gonna be frzine in Donnie's lab, right?

Kim: Nope.

Jerry: Well, I'm gonna tell him. *sniff*

Kim: *elbows Jerry* Don't you dare!

Olaf: *sing* In Summeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Anna: Olaf, get back here!

Olaf: Coming, Anna! *leaves*

...

Kim: Take two. *click*

9

Mikey: Dude, Fishface is a little sensitive.

Raph: You're calling him Fishface?

Mikey:Well, it was that or Robocrap.

Kim: Carp, Mikey. It's Robocarp.

9

[grunting]

[robotic footsteps approach]

[growls]

[grunting and growling]

[screams, grunts]

[groaning]

Olaf: Oh no! We gotta help him! *runs into scene*

Kim: Cut!

Anna: Olaf!

Kristoff: Olaf, get back here!

Raph: Get out of this scene, you walking, talking, ball of snow!

Mikey: Do you want to build a snowman~?

Raph: Shut up, Mikey!


	17. TCRI

TCRI

Myla: Kim! *pant* You say that there's an emergency?!

Kim: Yes, there is.

Myla: What's the emergency?

Kim: I need a new partner.

Myla: Why?

Kim: 'Cuz yesterday, the doctor said that Jerry can't work anymore!

Myla: What?! Why?!

Kim: I dunno... Something about he has brain tumor of some sort.

Myla: WHAT?!

Kim: Yeah.

Myla: *sigh* Okay! Who do you want?

Kim: Well... I've been giving it some thought, and well...considering there are three contestants in the director contest, I thoguht that maybe 1st place is direct. 2nd place is my new partner. 3rd place is medic.

Myla: 3rd place doesn't seem very smart. And, why do you need a partner? You're doing fine on your own.

Kim: I need a partner to clean up the messes the turtles make.

Myla: Okay, that's just mean!

Kim: Can't blame me! The turtles are very messy!

Myla: *flat face* They're 15.

Kim: Yeah, I know but—

Myla: Look, TCRI is the 17th episode of TMNT. On the season finale, Booyakasha Showdown or Showdown, their entire family is coming to watch. Oh! Better get that to Angel, Hermana, and Catie.

Kim: Catie?

Myla: What? Catie, short for Cat Girl. Seriously, a Mikey can't be the only one who gives people names.

Kim: *shakes head* Anyway, I just want to know who are their families.

Myla: Tell ya later, gotta another problem! No one's voting!

Kim: That's a BIG problem.

Myla: Yeah, I know, maybe I should make another interview?

Kim: Forget that! We better shoot before anything else.

9

Don: Stay on them, Leo! The Kraang's tripping out! It's picking up a signal from the power cell.

Leo: Again? Last time that thing led us to a burrito in a microwave.

Mikey: Dudes, this AWESOME!

*crash*

Don: *sigh* Okay, Mikey, tell me what's SO awesome that you had to make us CRASH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOOT!

Mikey: Today's pay day!

Turtles: *sigh*

9

Kraang 2: I suppose Kraang has once again been foiled by Turtles and failed to retrieve that which Kraang was to retrieve.

Kraang 3: Kraang is wrong. Kraang has retrieved it. In Kraang's face!

Mikey: *whisper to Kraang 2* Dude, you totally got burned.

Kraang 2: *old lady voice* Oh, grow up, turtle! *chases Mikey with rolling pin*

Don: What happened to Kraang 1?

Myla: Got fired, remember?

Don: Yeah, but as far as I remember, Kraang 3 was the one who reacted.

Myla: Oh yeah... Thanks for reminding me, Don. *through mega phone* HEY, KRAANG 3, YA FIRED!

9

Mikey: Who can hold their breath? We can.

Don: EVERYONE can.

9

Don: Why do you keep grabbing my face?! What is wrong with my face?

Raph: Would you like to list it alphabetically or in descending order of grossness?

Kim: Alphabetically, please.

9

The turtles climb up the elevator shaft. Mikey fell.

Mikey: *scream*

Raph: Well... Who votes we should get a new Mikey?

9

Raph: Can we please just ride this thing to the top now?

Don: We can't. There's a retinal scanner.

Raph: I'm on it.

Ms. Campbell: That which is known as access is granted to Kraang.

Leo: Imagine how normal people react to this.

Turtles: -_-

9

Mikey: Yeah, what are they gonna do? Mutate the whole planet so they can live here and we can't?

Don: I don't know what's scarier, what you just said or that you said it.

Kim: I'd go with what he said.

9

Raph: How are we supposed to get out of here with these guys watching our every move?

Don: Okay, just HOW did we not see that?

9

Myla: Kim, this is a kids show, you aren't supposed to film the bloopers of a overly violent scene.

Kim: And just HOW is this scene violent?

Mikey: LAVA!

*fire alarm*

Myla: Call 9-1-1.

9

Leo: Leatherhead's gone.

Mikey: LEATHERHEAD! *cry*

Leo: *sits beside Mikey* Aww, don't cry, M-

Mikey: *blows into Leo's arm*

9

April: They're after... _me_?

Mikey: Nah, kinda looks like they have a crush on yah.


	18. Cocroach Terminator

Cocroach terminantor

(Xillet, thank you for your time and effort.)

Judy: Hey, guys, I'm Judy White. And today, we're going to introduce a new contestant for direct. Oh, and, uh, before anything else, please make sure you vote. Anyway... Please welcome Xillet!

Xillet: Hello!

Judy: So, Xillet, what drove you to play as direct?

Xillet: I just love trying new things. And directing is one of the things that have always interested me. Besides paranormal rituals.

Judy: Why do you think that you are worthy?

Xilliet: I don't actually think I'm worthy, because the three are better at it than me, perhaps. I just wanted to try out and be part of the fun! But if I do win then it would be a great honor.

Judy: Are you willing to direct this episode? Most likely that one known as, "Cocroach Terminator?" Oh, I just sounded like Kraang.

Xillet: Of course I'm willing. I nearly pissed myself laughing. Cockroach Terminator is one of the funniest episodes in the series. And watching and hearing Raph scream like a little girl is a bonus!

Judy: Anyway, do you think that—

Kim: Sorry to interrupt the interview... Again. But we have to shoot in like, 5.

Judy: Yeah, yeah you guys always interrupt interviews anyway. I quit!

Xillet: *whispers* For an interviewer, you sure do quit fast.

Kim: Okay... Great, now Myla's got some extra work to do.

9

Xillet: And ACTION!

Raph: *sees roach at the end of his chopstick* *girly scream for 1 hour*

~1 hour later~

Xillet: Okay, thanks for destroying our hearing sense, Raphael. Also, you're not afraid to face Justin - who is a hideous monster, mind you - but you're scared of a teeny, tiny cockroach? For heaven's sake, my two-year old nephew is braver than you!

9

Mikey: Big, tough Raph is scared of cockroaches.

Raph: I am not.

Mikey: Oh, really? Let's go to the video. *play* This is my favorite part, right here. *pause* Donnie, can I get this on a t-shirt?

~ding-dong~

Delivery man: T-shirts for Michelangelo Hamato.

Mikey: That's me! *gets box* Oh, and dude, you got my name backwards.

Delivery man: *eye roll* Yeah, yeah, just sign.

Mikey: *sign*

Delivery man: *leave*

Mikey: *opens box* Cool! Shirts with Raph's face on them!

Xillet: Let me take a picture! Cleo owes me a hundred bucks!

Kim: How many shirts are those, exactly?

Mikey: Mmm... According to the box, about a hundred.

Xillet: *chokes on water she's drinking*

Kim: How are you going to pay for all that?

Mikey: I won't.

Xilliet: Okay, if they come to me for the payment I'll tell Myla to minus the money it took to pay for them from your salary!

9

Donnie: Come on, roach number one. Make papa proud.

Xillet: Okay, somehow that made you sound like a *beep*.

9

Kraang 235: Kraang has been on a diet known as "gluten-free".

Kraang: 376: Then Kraang suggest that you keep on going. Considering that Kraang looks to have not lost any units of Kraang unit weight.

Xillet: Wait, are they talking about their robots or the aliens?

9

Raph: I heard a "flap".

Donnie and Mikey: Flap?

Raph: *slaps two* Flap.

Kim: Sounded more like a slap than a flap to me.

Xillet: I agree.

9

Donnie: We have never seen organic and inorganic matter fused in-in-in such an ama—

Raph: That's great, Donnie, we can discuss this some more when we're driving away at a thousand miles an hour.

Kim: Isn't that law-breaking?

Xillet: I believe it is called a 'hyperbole', Kim. Also, is there any vehicle - land, sea or air - that can travel a thousand miles per hour?

9

Kraang 235: The box which contains the lens is heavier than Kraang thought.

Kraang 612: It is the one known as a good workout for Kraang. It is good for Kraang. Kraang could loose 100 Kraang units of weight.

Xillet: Again, is it the robots or the aliens? And if it is the aliens, then how is it workout when it's the droids carrying it rather than the aliens themselves?

9

Leo: The halting of Kraang is exactly the thing that the ones who are— yeah, just halt!

Don: Which do we save first? The world or the English language?

Xillet: I would say the world. The English language might already be dead.

9

Raph: I learned a very important lesson. I'll never be cruel again. Just leave me alone!

Mikey: *low voice* On one condition.

Raph: Anything!

Mikey: Be good to Michelangelo.

Raph: What?

Mikey: Let him read your comics once in a while.

Raph: MIKEY! *kicks Mikey*

Xillet: Why am I feeling deja vu strangely?

Kim: *returns from bathroom break* What did I miss... Where's Mikey?

Mikey: *groan* Ugh, where am I?

Hermana: Welcome to Argentina, Mikey.

9

~At Xillet's house~

Xillet: Man that was tiring! Who knew shooting a single episode could be so mind-draining?

~ding-dong~

Xillet: *opens door*

Harry: Good day, I'm Harry Homes, the world's shortest-tempered delivery man. I'm here to ask for $200.

Xillet: Why? I didn't order anything.

Harry: It covers the cost of the shirts that Hamato Raphael's face was printed on.

Xillet: I am sooo kicking Michelangelo on my next visit!

Harry: Are you going to pay? Because if you don't, I'm going to be fired.

Xillet: I'm surprised you haven't been fired yet. *gives Harry $200*

Harry: Don't you dare bring up the topic of my last job.

Xillet: I wasn't going to. I don't even know if you are the previous director of TMNT. For all I know you could just be someone with the same name. And why shouldn't I?

Harry: Because Jerry's my new boss.

Xillet: What does that have to - WHAT?! JERRY? AS IN THE PREVIOUS CAMERAMAN? Didn't he have a brain tumor or something? What, dis Kim reject him and he used a sickness to cover it up and is now the boss of a company like those millionaires in cliche love stories who have been broken by their loved one?

Harry: *opens mouth to answer*

Xilliet: Nevermind, don't answer that. I need to tell Myla about this!


	19. Baxter's Gambit

Baxter's Gambit

(A/N: Sorry long time no update. Oh, and I doubt that jerk needs to censored, I mean, c'mon, people! TMNT has a TV-Y rating!)

Myla: Judy's gone... Great... Anyway! Let's call in Xilliet and Hermana!

Hermana: Hey, everybody! I'm still alive!

Xilliet: Hello! By the way, Myla, minus $200 from Mikey's salary

Myla: No problemo, it's what he gets for spoiling a shoo anyway. Hey, Hermana, did you bring Mikey?

Hermana: Yeah, but... I shouldn't have offered him Argentinian food...

Mikey: HEY, DUDES! I'M BACK FROM SPAIN.

Hermana: Buenos Aires, Argentina, Mikey.

Mikey: Pfft. Oh! Look! Chipa!

Raph: By the love of pizza, what did you do to him?! Lure him into a crate with chips?

Hermana: First of all, it's 'chipa'; second of all, I just made him have one, and he ecceded

Myla: ANYWAY... Let's cut to the chase. *gets list* Same rules, tell me what first comes into your mind. Ready?

Hermana: You know it. *winks*

Xilliet: Sige.

Mikey: Hey, Hermana, got anymore chipa?

Hermana: *searches in her pockets* Hmmm... nope

Myla: MIKEY! *Mikey leaves* *huff* Now... First is... Oh! Kristoff.

Hermana: Frozen.

Xilliet: Donnie. *gets weird looks* What?! He and Donnie have some similarities!

Myla: Then... Hans?

Hermana: *deadpan voice* Frozen again.

Xilliet: Mirror

Myla: Elsa?

Hermana: Ice queen... of Frozen.

Xilliet: AWESOME!

Myla: Anna?

Hermana: The little sister of an ice queen who meses everything up because of being desperate for love... of Frozen!

Xilliet: Annoying.

Myla: Olaf?

Olaf: You called?

Hermana: That weird and kind of anoying snowman... of Frozen.

Xilliet: Adorable!

Myla: Security!

Olaf: *to security* Oh, hi! I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs! *taken away by security*

Myla: Who made this list anyway?

Direct of Frozen: Oh! My list! *takes list* *leaves*

Myla: Okay... Let's shoot!

Hermana: I'll never see Frozen the same way I did a few seconds ago.

Xilliet: Where did he come from?

9

Xilliet: Lights, camera, action! I always wanted to say that!

Baxter: *stuck on roof* Hello? Anyone? I'm kind of stuck up here. Hello?xr

Myla: You gonna bring him down?

Hermana: Not me! *raises hands*

Xilliet: Nah, let him be. He's annoying, anyway.

Kim: C'mon, Baxter I'm not gonna hurt you.

Baxter: But I'm scared of heights!

Hermana: Me too, but it's not to freak out.

Xilliet: *to Baxter* You're acting like a baby!

Myla: *mimics Baxter* But I'm scared of heights! Pfft.

9

Baxter: Well, um, u-um, y-yes. T-They're right. I-I-I-It was m-m-m-m-my fault. I'm sorry. And I'd l-l-l-like t-to, to, to *wets pants*

Myla: Ewwwww!

Hermana: Anybody got a towel? Or a diaper, for that matter?

Xilliet: *gets away* How old are you?! Five?!

Myla: KIM!

Kim: *murmurs* From camerawoman to janitor. Some boss.

Myla: I heard that!

9

Raph: Where were we? Oh, yeah. I was turning you into fish sticks.

Fishface: Actually, I believe I was turning you into turtle soup.

Raph: Oh, wait, I wasn't turning you into fish sticks, I was turning you into sushi, with a side of jerk face.

Fishface: No, no, I was turning you into BAKED TURTLE!

Hermana: Are they really relating their last fight... with food?

Xilliet: This ain't a cooking show!

9

April: Sensei, not that I don't enjoy running UKs six thousand times, but—

Myla: Ukes, April.

9

April: Sensei, not that I don't enjoy running yolks six thousand times, but—

Myla: *Glare*

Hermana: Take 5 already?

Xilliet: A Japanese word can't be THAT hard to pronounce.

9

April: Sensei, not that I don't enjoy running you pees six thousand times, but when do I get a weapon?

Myla: *raised brow* Seriously?

Hermana: How many times have we done the same scene?

Xilliet: *face palm*

April: You know, I don't know if it matters how I pronounce it, but it just sounds weird you know. Like, I think that if I could just you know— ugh, forget it! My Mikey side is getting the best of me.

Mikey: That's kinda horrendous, you know.

Myla: Big word, Mikey, big word.

Hermana: Still, we gotta shoot back the scene!

Xilliet: Isn't he smart outside the set?

9

Donnie: Blister Stockboy?

Baxter: It's Baker Strudel! *relize* Cut!

9

Baxter: I'm your archnaaaaaaaumazizzzzzz. Aww, c'mon, I'm not even a fly yet! Cut!

Hermana: Hey! Only we say cut!

Xilliet: Hey! Since when were you the director?

9

Baxter: I'm your archnemesis.

Mikey: I can totally think of five nemesises way archer than him.

Donnie: Like~?

Mikey: Sherdder, Lord Dregg, Kraang, Triceratons, and Armagon.

Raph: *smack*

Mikey: Ow! What you do that for?

Raph: It's what you get for reading in advance without me.

Hermana: Didn't this happened in the twentyfourth episode of season 3?

Xilliet: Okay, who's been giving him the scripts for the later seasons?

9

Splinter: Remember, April, your weapon chooses you as much as you choose it. *gives weapon*

April: *after failing* I think it chose the tree.

Weapon: You got that right.

April: Waaaah! *falls*

Weapon: Trees can't move.

Myla: I don't know if I'm supposed to be dying of fear or laughter.

Xilliet: *takes weapon* I'm getting this to Donnie.

Hermana: Uh... who's the one in charge of the merchandise used for this scene, again?

9

Mikey: We go like this offensive April, jerk, jerk, turtle, turtle, turtle, Mikey.

Xilliet: I thought April wasn't here.

Hermana: Mikey, Apes doesn't appear in this scene.

April: I'm not an Ape.

9

*balls fall from the ceiling*

Leo: Balls... of Doom!

Don: *picks up ball* More like balls of styrofoam.

Baxter: It's not like I can make genius balls in a month! I didn't even pass kindergarten.

Xilliet:Ah, the irony.

Hermana: How the heck are you such a show-off genius if you didn't pass kindergarten?!

Myla: Sometimes I wonder how you got your actor's license.

9

Raph: What's a nice fish like you doing with a guy like Shredder? In many ways, it's all I've ever known.

Fishface: *puts on funny glasses* *high pitched voice* At a young age, I learned a very simple rule: You want something, you take it.

Raph: *laughing his head off* C-cut!

9

Fishface: And he employed me for many of the Foot's dirtier jobs. And that included cleaning his toilet.

Raph: *dying of laughter... again*

9

*cannons rise form the ground*

*cannons shoot papers*

Donnie: *catches paper* *looks at it* *blushes*

Myla: Donnie, what is it?

Donnie: I-I'm g-gonna *faint*

Leo: *catches paper* *looks* Oh, look, Apriltello art. *sarcastic* Where did that come from?

Baxter: Oops.

Xilliet: I want a copy!

Hermana: I don't blame you... *hold up a foam finger that says #1Apriltello* Apriltello for life!

9

*violent scene*

Myla: Ugh. I've watched this SO many times that I think that school is more exciting.

Xilliet: *snorts* If you call getting your eardrums broken by noisy and crazy classmates exciting.

Hermana: If you weren't our boss, I would instantly kick you out of this studio and make my dad be the new boss. Before you even ask, he was the director of a TV channel, he still can do that.

Myla: Okay... Shutting up now!


	20. Enemy of my Enemy

Lyn: *In beauty queen voice* Hello, everybody! I am Lyn Evans, 13 years old and living in-

Raph: *barges in* Since when did this become a beauty pageant? And who the heck is she? *points at Lyn*

Lyn: Since now, Raphie. Like I said before you ever-so-politely interrupted me, I am Lyn. Evans is my code surname. I replace Xilliet's position as direct candidate. *whispers* That manipulative goat!

Raph: Goat?

Lyn: What? *shrugs* Myla says I can't swear. And Xi is a manipulative goat.

Kim: Are you really 13 years old?

Lyn: I'm not dumb enough to reveal my real age but it's between 10 and 20.

Kim: And here I was expecting you to say between 1 and 1 million.

Lyn: *rolls eyes* That's just a hyperbole. Unless you've done the Eternal Life ritual, it's impossible to live for a million years!

Myla: *claps hands* Okay everybody, stop dilly-dallying and get to work! We're already at Enemy of my Enemy and this has been delayed long enough!

Lyn: *whispers to Kim* Is she always like this?

Kim: Pretty much.

Myla: I heard that!

9

Donnie: According to the Kraang storage device that I decrypted, some kind of scouting ship is coming through the Kraang portal tonight.

Leo: So we all have to stay alert.

Karai: Yeah, you never know what could sneak up on you. *jump, lands on puddle and slips* What the heck?!

Turtles: *laughing*

Lyn: *kneels and sniffs water* Smells like . . . pee?

Karai: WHAT?!

Everybody: Eew!

Donnie: How do you even know what pee smells like?

Lyn: How do you not know what pee smells like when you've been peeing for 15 years?

Leo: She's got your there, Don.

Karai: Why and how is there even a puddle of pee here?

Lyn: How should we know? And are you getting up, because I don't think being in a puddle of pee is pleasing.

9

Mikey: Booyakasha! *strikes at Karai but she moves away*

Karai: *lays tanto on shoulder* "Booyakasha"? What does that even mean?

Mikey: I don't know. But it's fun to yell.

Lyn: Why would you use a word when you have no idea what it means? It could mean something perverted for all you know.

Leo: Why are you directors the ones ruining a scene? Shouldn't you be directing instead of interrupting?

Lyn: Oh yeah? Well, I can't even count the times you guys ruined a scene on all of my toes and fingers! So maybe you should stop acting like a saint and get serious!

Kim: *steps in between the two* Woah, we don't need a full on a fight here so chill!

Lyn: *glares at Leo* Take two!

9

Karai: *points tanto* I heard the scrawny one mention the Kraang. What's going on?

Leo: None of your business. *slashes at Karai with his katanas but she moves away*

Donnie: *joins them* And I'm not scrawny. I'm svelte.

Karai: *jumps to avoid Donnie's bo staff, lands on his shell and moves away* Oh, come on. Let me in on the fun.

Raph: *angrily* Look, we're a little busy trying to stop the beginning of an alien invasion here, so do us a favor and get lost!

Lyn: Now that you've revealed your entire mission to the enemy, do you they'll leave you alone?

Myla: Lyn! Stop interrupting!

Lyn: *holds up hands* No promises.

9

*the stealthship shoots laserbeams at the turtles and Karai. They separate; Karai with Leo and the other three together. They turn sharply and hide in an alley*

Karai: *panting* What the heck was that?

Lyn: A spaceship, duh!

Myla: Lyn!

Lyn: Sorry! I can't help it!

9

Karai: That makes our little fight seem pretty pointless, doesn't it?

Leo: I doubt Shredder would agree.

Karai: Shredder is stubborn and short-sighted. He drives me crazy. His stupid vendetta is gonna take us all down. He may not be able to see that, but I know you do. What do you say? Work together for now? *holds out hand*

Leo: *looks at hand and moves away* Sorry, sister. *jumps down the building*

Lyn: Oh, if only Master Splinter knew how true that sentence is.

Mikey: I know, right?

Myla: Mikey! Have you been reading in advance again?

Mikey: Uhm . . . maybe?

Kim: Okay, who votes we take away their scripts of the later seasons?

9

Raph: Guys, seriously. An alliance with Karai? No way. Why are we even talking about this?

Donnie: It's too bad we can't trust her. It would be nice to have a kunoichi on our side.

April: Uhm, hello? What about me?

Donnie: No, I mean a real kunoichi. I mean, not that you're not a real one, just that Karai is better. I mean, not-not better, just More experienced. Is it-is it hot in here?

Lyn: Don, better and more experienced mean the same thing in a way. But kudos for you for wording it in a better way.

9

Donnie: No, I mean a real kunoichi. I mean, not that you're not a real one, just that Karai is better. I mean, not-not better, just More experienced. Is it-is it hot in here?

April: It's ok. I get it. She's your mortal enemy, but eh, she's "purty".

Lyn: *singsong tone* Somebody's jealous. *gets deadpan looks* What? I can't be the only one who ships Apriltello here. The other candidates ship it, too right? *still gets deadpan looks* Fine, fine, fine. Sheesh, you guys are too uptight. Take 3, everybody!

9

Donnie: No, I mean a real kunoichi. I mean, not that you're not a real one, just that Karai is better. I mean, not-not better, just More experienced. Is it-is it hot in here?

April: It's ok. I get it. She's your mortal enemy, but eh, she's "purty".

Donnie: No, she's not. You're way prettier. Not that I think you're pretty. I mean, you're not ugly. It's just that I- Hey, isn't Raph supposed to be dragging me away?

Lyn: Raphael! It's your turn!

Raph: *grins* I know, but watching him stutter and blush is way more fun.

Lyn: Get your butt off that floor or I'll (beep). You're not the only one who knows martial arts!

Raph: Okay! I'm up! *gets up*

9

Lyn: Take 4!

Leo: That was Karai! We've gotta go back and help her.

Raph: *lays a hand on Leo's shoulder* She can take care of herself. Let's put some distance between that thing and us.

Leo: No.

Donnie: But the Shellraiser can't take another onslaught right now.

Leo: Then I'll do it myself. *gets out of seat and Raph takes the wheel* Drive! I'll meet you back underground.

Raph: Hey, the stealth bike's my thing.

Leo: *looks at Raph from where he's about to slide into the stealth bike* Now your thing is sucking it up. *Door slams shut*

Lyn: Even now, I still don't get that line.

9

*In the stealth bike after they escaped from the Kraang*

Leo: You ok?

Karai: Yeah. Are you?

Leo: Fine.

Lyn: *squeals loudly in the background*

Myla: Lyn!

Lyn: What? Donnie's allowed to crush on April but Im not allowed to fangirl?

Myla: Because, unlike your fangirling, we actually get something useful from Donnie's crush on April.

Lyn: *pouts* That hurt, Myla.

Kim: That's weird. Usually the bloopers last until the end of the episode.

9

Raph: *walks in, tired. He drops on a nearby couch and sighs in relief* After Myla ruined her mood, she took us aside to have a little 'discussion'.

Mikey: *grabs Myla's shoulders and shakes her violently* HOW CAN YOU LET THAT VIOLENT WOMAN BE OUR DIRECTOR?!

Myla: *moves away from Mikey* She's a candidate, so chill. If you don't want her to be a candidate, then pray she doesn't win.

Lyn: It's Xi's fault I'm here anyway. She pulled the guilt card on me and now I have to do what she does. *shrugs* Meh, ordering you guys around is fun, though.


	21. Karai's Vendenna

Wolf: *yells* COME ON PEOPLE ITS A NEW EPISODE AND I WANT TO MAKE IT GOOD!

Raph: *covers ears* I already hope you're not going to be the new direct.

Wolf: Just get out of here its time to film the new episode and you're not in this first scene. *mutters* Luckily.

Raph: I heard that!

9

Shredder: *holds a struggling kraang in midair* Why were you hunting the turtles?

Kraang 5987:...

Karai: *pats the kraang droid body* They don't talk much outside their little houses.

Kraang 5987: *jumps out Shredders grasp* I have you know that we can talk outside them robot bodies and they're what make us talk so stupidly! The only reason I didn't answer was because then I'd be giving away the kraang's plans!

Kim: Wouldn't that change the entire plotline of TMNT?

Wolf: No I don't think it would: remember in the episode Plan 10? Raph was a kraang in a kraang droids body but he could speak normally? Oh and Kraang 5987, you're fired.

Kraang 5987: Good! My superior intellect shall be put to good use somewhere else! *crawls away*

Wolf: *shivers* It reminds me of a spider.

9

Raph: *facing Mikey* What ya gonna do? What ya gonna do? What ya gonna do?

Mikey: *growls* Oh I'll show you what I'm gonna do! *tackles Raph*

Kim: Hey break it up you two! *breaks Raph and Mikey apart*

Wolf: Seriously? That was probably one of my favourite scenes in the entire episode! Take two!

Raph: Seriously?

Wolf: Yes seriously!

Raph: What ya gonna do? What ya gonna do? What'cha gonna do? *charges at Mikey*

Mikey: *ducks and flips Raph over* Booyakasha! You got faced! Thought you had me but I played you like a trombone! *makes trombone sound*

Raph: *growls and tackles Mikey.* WHY YOU LITTLE- *see's a pipe and grabs it*

Wolf: No, no, NO! *grabs pipe* I am not having a repeat of the episode of the 2003 series where Raph almost beat Mikey with a pipe.

Mikey03: He was just jealous because he lost to the BATTLE NEXUS CHAMPION!

Wolf: First, you didn't even know the Battle Nexus Games existed then, you were still in the first season. And second, get out. *pushes Mikey03 out*

9

Donnie: Hey guys guess what April and I have been up to?

Leo, Raph and Mikey: *blank looks*

Donnie: Thats right analyzing sewage.

Raph: *sarcastic voice* Don't you know how to show a girl a good time?

Donnie: Hey! I make her a music box in season three! *slaps hand over his mouth*

Wolf: Donnie, you've been reading in advance haven't you?

Donnie: *mumbles* Maybe...

9

Raph: *panting* This *pant* is not awesome *continues pedalling the bike*

Leo: Seriously Donnie? A sumbarine powered by bicycles.

Wolf: *cough* Submarine *cough*

Leo: Well I'm sorry I'm not perfect!

Myla: You don't have much chance of getting Karai then.

Leo: *growls*

Wolf: Take two everyone!

9

Leo: Seriously Donnie? A submarine powered by bicycles?

Raph: You know what would've been more efficient? Swimming!

Mikey: Ha!

Donnie: Kinetic energy is the only way to charge the engines, which should be done right about now.

Leo: We're almost there, up periscope *flushing sound and half a toilet seat with tape and goggles strapped onto it drops down* Who the heck comes up with ideas for this show?

Wolf: *stops drawing* Don't ask me I'm only a direct candidate.

Donnie: What are you drawing?

Wolf: *smirks* Apritello fanart.

Donnie: *blushes* C-CUT!

9

Leo: Okay we have to be quiet.

Donnie: Do you have to say that every time? We're ninjas we know how to be quiet! *tphone goes off*

Mikey: Ooh that is embarassing!

Wolf: I agree dude.

Myla: Wolf!

Wolf: Sorry! You have to admit though that was major karma.

Donnie: No it wasn't!

Raph: *sarcastic voice* No of course it wasn't.

9

Donnie: *holding his t-phone to his ear* April, hi! Its not a great time!

April: *on the other side of the phone* Donnie, Karai's- OOF! *runs into a wall*

Everyone: *bursts out laughing*

April: *weakly* Medic.

9

Mikey: And thats a twofer. Thank you *points to a droid* thank you *points to another droid*! And thank you! *points to the third droid and almost gets shot in the head.*

Raph: *stabs the droid thats about to shoot Mikey* How many times have I told you? *pokes Mikey repeatedly on the head* No celebrating 'till the fight is over!

Mikey: *slaps Raph's hand away* How many times have I told you I assumed it was over! *pokes Raph in the head*

Raph: *bends Mikey's finger backwards and a snap is heard*

Wolf: Medic!

Mikey: *whimpers weakly* I did not sign up for this.

9

Donnie: Huh, that wasn't such a chore. Now we can get back to Apr- *see's giant sea monster chasing them* ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Leo: Donnie can you make this thing go faster?!

Donnie: Of course I can. *presses button and the two rockets attatched to the sub fly off*

Mikey: Wow... that is fast!

Raph: Duh idiot!

Wolf: Raphael! Not your line!

Raph: *mutters* Non of these directs are fair.

Wolf: I heard that!

9

Donnie: Thats it! Its got us we're gonna die!

Sea monster: *makes out with the turtle sub*

Mikey: Hey! We're not that kind of sub!

Raph and Leo: -_-

Wolf: Isn't this... inappropirate for kids? I mean it isn't necessarrily inappropirate for me but what about younger viewers?

Donnie: Don't ask us we're just the actors.

9

Karai: What makes you so special? You're the center of an alien conspiracy, protected by mutants and trained by a great ninja master?

April: I don't know?

Karai: *scans script* Wait did you actually lose your mother?

Wolf: GIRLS! *bangs cane on a copy of the script which breaks*

Myla: Hey! You're trying to be the direct not the person who destroys the equipmet!

9

Donnie: *clutching t-phone to his ear* Come on April, come on April.

April: *on reciever end* Hey Donnie.

Donnie: APRIL! Did you hear that guys my sweet princess is alive! *turns to the phone* Did I mute that?

Leo and Raph: *facepalm*

Mikey: *facepalms but ends up falling into the water* AHHHHHH! HELP GOOD LORD OF PIZZA! HEEELLLLPPPPP!

Everyone: *facepalms*

9

Wolf: *after filming* So if I did become the new director would you guys like me?

Mikey: Will you give me free pizza?

Wolf: Domino's. Ten minutes. Now. *disappears*

Raph: I really hope she doesn't become the new director...


	22. Parasitica(sorry out of sched and order)

**Okay, requests are taken. And think about this fic like this: the turtles are actors (is that still violating the rules?).**

* * *

Hermana: Alright, people, it's almost the season finale, I wanna make it good!

Mikey: Roger-Doger!

Raph: *facepalms*

Hermana: *groans* Mikey, go to your place and wait for my sign.

Mikey: *salutes like in the army* Yes, ma'am.

9

Mikey: *spins boringly in his station, stops and sighs* Another day, another Kraang hunt. *peeks at Raph and smirks, for then surprising him* Hey, Raph! Fire the weapons!

Raph: *shoves him away* I don't think so!

Mikey: See? That's your problem. If I was in charge of the weapons, I'd be firing at things all the time. *jerks himself with his thumb proudly* That mailbox, blam. That newsstand, boom. That port-a-potty, splat.

Leo: And that's why you're not in charge of the weapons.

Hermana: Is that the only reason? I could enlist more.

Leo, Raph and Donnie: *laugh like crazy*

Mikey: *crosses arms with a pout* Not cool, brah.

9

Turtles: *enter destroyed lab*

Raph: Aw, man. Someone beat us to it!

Leo: It looks like one of their mutagen experiments got away from them.

Donnie: Seems like they were doing experiments on anthropomorphous. Weird.

Kim and Hermana: *snicker*

Donnie: What did I say?

Hermana: *covers her mouth from laughing* It's arthropods. *tries not to laugh*

9

Wasp: *attacks Raph*

Raph: *struggles to get it off* Wha-Ah! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

Hermana: *hits wasp with a pipe* Get away from my man, you disgusting bug!

Kim: *facepalms*

Mikey: *laughs at Raph* Dude, a girl just saved you!

Raph: *growls and tackles Mikey*

Hermana: Oops. *chuckles awkwardly* My bad... uh... take two?

9

Mikey: Hey, wasp!

Wasp: *turns to Mikey*

Mikey: *turns around* Come and get it! *shakes butt*

Nikki Minaj: *sings* Oh. My. Gosh. Look at her butt. Oh. My. Gosh. Look at her butt.

Mikey: *gasps sharply* It's Nikki Minaj!

Hermana: Who brought her into the studio?!

Everyone: *shrugs*

Kim: Alright, Nikki, no offense, but you better go sing with Justin Bieber or something. *pushes her out of the studio*

Hermana: *huffs and rubs sides of her head* Take two!

9

Wasp: *stings Leo*

Leo: Ow!

Wasp: *flies to the turtles and falls to the ground*

Mikey: Ha! See? My plan worked! I tired it out!

Donnie: You didn't tire it out. The wasp died because it lost its stinger.

*cricket sounds*

Hermana: Leo, your line.

Leo: Medic!

Kim: I think the wasp... stung him to hard...

Raph, Mikey and Donnie: *wince*

9

Donnie: *bents down to the wasp egg* Fascinating. *pulls out a scalpel*

Leo: Stop! What are you doing?!

Donnie: Dissecting it.

Leo: *pushes him away* Absolutely not! This is the only egg we have. We need to learn how it develops.

Donnie: Well, then, I... guess I'll just keep... staring at it.

Leo: Good idea. *points to a far away corner* From over there.

Donnie: *takes one step back*

Leo: *glares*

Donnie: *takes another few steps back, but trips over a pipe and falls to the ground*

Turtles: *laugh*

Hermana: *facepalms* Take 7!

9

Turtles: *eat Mikey's pizza on lab doors* Hmmm.

Raph: *face twitches and pukes*

Donnie: *starts choking on something*

Mikey: *munches calmly on pizza* What's up with you two?

Raph: I think- *pukes* that the pizza had something- *pukes* rotten!

Hermana: Medic! ... And janitor!

9

Raph: Hey, Mikey, where you going with Leo's signed Space Heroes issue one that he keeps wrapped in plastic?

Mikey: Well, we're out of toilet paper, and I thought the pages from this rare and valuable comic book would do the job nicely.

Leo: Oh, no you don't! *jumps up to Mikey and tackles him*

Hermana: Leo, you were supposed to stay still!

Leo: *keeps fighting with Mikey*

Hermana: *huffs* Of course, don't listen to the possible director because a comic book is more important! *crosses arms with an angry pout*

9

Raph: *is about to stab the egg*

Leo: *stops him with his sword*

Raph: Leo, what are you doin'?

Leo: *opens eyes, but they're completely black*

Hermana: Aah! Demon! *throws him holy water*

Leo: Hey! It's just the contact glasses! I'm no demon!

Hermana: *smiles sheepishly* ... Watching too much Supernatural is poisoning my mind.

9

Raph: *glances at his arm* Did you bite me?!

Leo: *smirks evilly*

Raph: You bit me!

Hermana: *knocks Leo with a frypan*

Kim: *flatfaced* Really?

Hermana: No one touches my man and lives to tell the story!

Raph: ... I don't know if I should feel flattered of stalked at.

Kim: I go for stalked at.

9

Mikey: *dangles on garage door* Oh, no! Not now! Come on!

Raph and Leo: *turn to him and hiss, drool dripping out of their mouths*

Mikey: *battles with door to close*

Raph and Leo: *run to him*

Mikey: *struggles with the door*

Raph and Leo: *get closer*

Mikey: *pulls harder, but the door closes over his stomach*

Everyone: *winces*

Mikey: Medic!

9

Donnie and Mikey: *try carrying Leo into the lab*

Mikey: He's a lot heavier than he looks.

Leo: Are you calling me fat?

Mikey: ... No. *smiles sheepishly*

Hermana: In other words, yeah.

Leo: *growls* When I get outta here...

Hermana: Now you're acting like Raph.

9

Donnie: *holds his head*

Mikey: *pulls out his nunchuck and tries hitting Donnie*

Donnie: *has black eyes and catches the nunchuck for then bitting Mikey in the arm*

Mikey: *screams and kicks Donnie in the area*

Donnie: *holds his area* You were supposed to hit me... with your nunchuck on my face. *falls to the floor in pain*

Mikey: Oopsie doopsie. *giggles*

Hermana: Take two. *facepalms*

9

Donnie: *holds his head*

Mikey: *pulls out his nunchuck and tries hitting Donnie*

Donnie: *has black eyes and catches the nunchuck for then bitting Mikey in the arm*

Mikey: *screams and punches Donnie on the nose* Dude! That's cannibalism!

Donnie: *flatfaced, rubs nose and turns to Hermana*

Hermana: *sighs heavily and throws script pages up* I'm done.

9

Raph: *turns to egg* Here it comes.

Leo and Donnie: *drops their weapons*

Leo: It is glorious.

Raph, Donnie and Leo: *hold up their arms*

Mikey: *injects them the antidote*

Donnie: *starts choking*

Kim: Are you okay?

Donnie: I think he got my jugular. *coughs*

Hermana and Kim: MIKEY!

Mikey: Oops. *sweats*

Hermana: Medic!

9

Leo, Raph and Donnie: *are surrounded by wasps*

Leo: Looks like we're gonna be wasp food after all.

Wasp1: *exploades, drool dripping over Donnie*

*cannon fires trash balls, destroying the other two wasps*

Leo, Raph and Donnie: EW! *shiver in disgust and shake the drool off them*

Raph: *hopes up and down in disgust* Ugh, this is worse than when I'm gonna have to kiss that mutant ant!

Hermana: Cut! Raphael, have you been reading in advance again?

Raph: Mikey temped me to!

Mikey: *gets out of Shellraiser* Of course, blame it on Mikey!

Hermana: *sighs*


	23. Ice Cream Kitty Music Video

TMNT © Nick

OCs © MPN

 **Written with the new director: Hermana Kunoichi! And I don't know what goes on in an airport because I've never been to one (yes, it's true). So apart from what goes on in movies, I have little to no idea of what goes on in an airport.**

 **This was supposed to come out on TMNT 2012's 5th year, but stuff happened and yeah...**

[INT: Airport]

[A girl with shoulder length black brown hair with pink ends tied in a pony stood in a baby pink hoodie with one hand stuffed in the pocket and the other holding a sign that read 'Hermana Kunoichi' at a gate carrying a small pastel blue back pack with light brown straps.]

Announcer ( **I don't know what's it called** ): Flight from Buenos Aires landing at Gate 67.

[The girl's eyes widened as she looked at the gate number. _3_.]

Myla: [eye roll] Wonderful.

[So after who-knows-how-long of walking, she finally came to Gate 67, where a girl with wavy shoulder length dark brown hair and brown eyes wearing an anne-green shirt with a red clad mutant turtle on it was standing, rocking back and forth on her heels while doing something on her phone.]

Myla: *sigh* Finally. [She walked up to the girl, but she didn't notice. Myla waved the sign in front of her, but she didn't care. She huffed. She looked up at the girl, who was about 2 inches taller than her and literally stuck on her phone.] Ya done writing fanfiction there, bud?

[The girl looked away from her phone and down at the five foot midget, who wasn't amused.]

Hermana: Oh, hey, I didn't see you there.

Myla: [-_-] Of _course_ you didn't.

[A girl with chin length strawberry blond hair and grey eyes wearing a white blouse looked cross as she stomped to the two girls.]

Kim: C'mon— [She gripped the hook strap of Myla's bag and dragged her away, forcing Hermana to follow.]—you're already late.

9

[INT: Set 12]

[Leo was siting on a bench with a girl with light chestnut skin, short light brown hair in pigtails, and dark brown eyes wearing a grey tank top.]

Leo: [guitar strum, string break] Like that?

Rene: *huff* [She hid her face in her hands.] (muffled) Lord, help me.

9

[INT: Set 10]

[Donnie was staring at a keyboard with a girl with back length black hair pinned back on both sides using gold hairpins and azure blue eyes wearing a pastel blue top.]

Donnie: Uh huh...mmm...I see...

Vi: (frustrated) See what?

Donnie: White and black chocolates laid on a black candy bar. [Vi hung her head in annoyance.] ...Can I eat it?

9

[INT: Set 15]

 **BANG!**

[Raph's head was put trough a drum with a cymbal on his head as a girl with chestnut skin, hazel eyes, and shoulder length Indian red hair in a small pony wearing a maroon shoulderless top angrily stomped away.]

Raph: (confused) Did I do something wrong?

9

[INT: Set 20]

[A young man with brown hair in a forelock and dark brown eyes wearing a red leather jacket over a white top struggled to get the camera to work.]

Jerry: Kim, I can't get the camera working! I think it's broken!

Kim: [Ò^Ó] [stomps over] Of course it won't work, you buffoon! [bangs fist on the camera, making the cap pop off] The cap was still on!

Jerry: (amazed) You are an angel! [Kim rolled her eyes.]

9

[INT: Recording studio]

Mikey: _I scream, you scream, we all scream for kitty. I scream, you scream, we all scream for kitty..._

[singing continues in the background]

Myla: *eye twitch* ...Too...cringy.

Mikey: (voice crack) *gasp* **CUT**!

Myla: [falls backwards in cringe]

9

[time skip]

[INT: Set 18/Turtle's lair]

Hermana: Ready? [various staff replies] Lights, camera, action!

[The turtles passed trough the turnstiles. Mikey hopped over but his hand slipped and he fell face first into the pavement.]

Hermana: Should we leave it like that?

Myla: [shrug] _You're_ the director.

Hermana: [-_-] (sarcastic) Ha, ha.

9

Leo: [stums guitar, but sting breaks, hitting him in the face] *blink* - **beep!** -

9

Raph: [spins drumstick, but spins it too much that it flies away]

Leo: (distantly) Ow! The -beep-, bro?

9

Donnie: [tilts chair back, strumming the base, tilts chair too far and falls back] *gasp* [holds up a tooth] Guess who's gonna get a gold coin from the tooth fairy?

9

[INT: Raph's dressing room]

Hermana: How do I put this? [fumbles with a neck tie]

Raph: Done there?

Hermana: Hold **on** , okay?

Rene: [stomps over, snatches the tie from Hermana, sticks tie to Raph's chest, stomps away angrily]

Raph: [crosses arms] Took ya long enough.

9

[INT: Donnie's dressing room]

Donnie: How do these glasses work? [pulls down glasses] when I put them on, everything turns black. [pulls up glasses] But when I remove them, everything gets bright.

Aqua: [face palm]

9

Leo: [strums guitar]

Aqua: [sighs in relief] _Finally_. [guitar sting breaks, making her yelp and fall off the bench] -beep-

9

[during a shoot]

Aqua: [listens to BTS] - _Korean lyrics I'll never understand_ -

Myla: (hushed) Did you know that there's a new BTS song?

Aqua: *blink blink* -loud squeal-

Leo: - **beep** -

Raph: My ears!

Mikey: My ear _drums_!

Donnie: [drops sweet] My caramel!

Hermana: Save the caramel! [lungs for the sweet]

9

[INT: Dance room w/ villains]

Choreographer: And a one, and a two, and a one two three-hey!

[The villains danced to their routine...until the third step, where Shredder tripped, causing Tiger Claw to trip, making Rocksteady trip and so on so forth. Soon, there was only Bebop.]

Bebop: Why didn't _I_ trip?

Choreographer: Zeck—

Bebop: Cannonball! [dives into the pile]

9

[INT: Set 20/TMNT stage]

Kraang Josh: This stage is pathetic.

Kraang Rand: _Psh_ , **yeah** , how awesome could a turtle concert be?

[during the shoot]

Kraang Rand: **THIS IS AWESOME!**

Kraang Larry: **FOR REAL, BRO?!**

Kraang Rand: **FOR REAL,** _ **BRUH**_ **!**

[EXT: Set 20]

Myla: Set 20; finally. Now let's see what going on in—

[muffled screams]

Hermana: (muffled) Kraang Larry, keep away from the drugs!

Mikey: (muffled) Why do we even **have** drugs in here?!

Myla: *eye twitch* On second thought...

9

[INT: Set 23/hanging pizza guitar set]

Leo: ...Is it safe?

Myla: (sarcastic) No, but get on it anyway.

Donnie: [on top of guitar] I'm the king of the—oh! Pizza.

Myla: Donnie, that's not— - **clank!** -...real.

Donnie: I'm gonna be a millionaire.

Leo: That's good!

Myla: Uh...why, exactly?

Leo: Because he'll be needing that money to buy dentures.

Myla: [stares at Leo, confused]...you _do_ realize that the tooth fairy isn't real...right?

Leo: *eyes widen* -beep- you.

9

[INT: Set 26/green wall]

[after shoot]

Hermana: Great job, everyone, great job. Let's call it a day and go to bed.

Aqua: Dude, [jerks thumb to the sunny background outside] ...it's like—11 am...two weeks after we've started.

9

[INT: editing room]

Myla: [watches edited video] Hey, Hermana?

Hermana: Yeah?

Myla: Don't you think this [points at Karai & Shinigami with interlocked fingers] will make the Shinirai fans go loco?

Hermana: ...

9

[EXT: Set 24]

Myla: Are you sure it's safe?

Hermana: It looks safe, even though it's not. Plus it's cool so... _pffffft_. Roll it!

[Team rides in car then crashes into a tree.]

Myla: [side stare at Hermana]

Hermana: It wasn't _my_ fault Casey couldn't drive!

9

[EXT: Set 24]

Choreographer: You guys know your choreography? [cast replies] Good.

Hermana: Roll it!

[16 shoots later]

[chaotic background]

Choreographer: I thought you knew your **choreography**!

Bebop: Yeah we do. It involves a lot tripping and ankle twisting and fighting.

Hermana: [face palm]

Choreographer: *eye twitch* **THAT'S THE REGULAR EPISODE. WE'RE MAKING A MUSIC VIDEO!**

9

[INT: Recording room]

Mikey: [sings lyrics ( **can't find it** )]— **HOLD ON!**

Myla: Cut! Mikey, what's wrong?

Mikey: Since when does Ice Cream Kitty have ice cream hair? She's a cat! She's supposed to have ice cream _fur_. No wait— she doesn't have any hair _or_ fur at all! Who wrote this song?

Myla: [-_-] (sarcastic joking) Donnie.

Mikey: Well, it's very illogical.

Hermana: Psh, it's Donnie.

9

[INT: Hospital Lobby]

Myla: Hey, Herms?

Hermana: Yes?

Myla: I feel bad.

Hermana: For what?

Myla: For sending Donnie to the dentist.

Hermana: _Why_ exactly do you feel bad?

Donnie: [runs over] Guys, look! [shows dentures in mouth] I got another set of teeth! That means twice the gold!

Hermana:[eye twitch] I see.

Myla: [face palm]


End file.
